I have been given the strangest text file I have ever lain my perverted eyes on. A friend of mine wrote it and asked to hand it around to people interested in reading it, to whit I replied I may post it on my favouritest forums.

This is a short exert of a nearly 60 manual. Thing. It's hard to explain.


"Our woeful tale now resumes shortly after Carter's discovery of Tutankhamun's tomb.
Carter, having gained his glory and immortality by discovering the tomb itself, abandoned the
task of excavating it fully to his minions while he had promiscuous monkey-sex with
archaeology's foxiest floozies. One henchlackey in particular was the British classics student,
only present because his degree required an archaeological expedition, and fed up because
what was supposed to be a doomed expedition had turned into a freak show and he would
now have to get his hands dirty. His name was Eustace Quastroblad Nosegay, so named
because his mother had a "q" fetish and failed to decide which he reminded her of more, the
gastro-intestinal system or the bladder. He was also, as the majority of Her Majesty's slaves
and toff-nosed, fox-hunting Morris-dancers, a lifelong pantywaist. In an attempt to excavate
a less pagan-infected area of the tomb, he happened upon a papyrus roll which, to his
amazement, seemed to contain mysterious symbols that almost looked like some form of
writing system. Rushing forth with his discovery of the new script, Nosegay was promptly
mocked and derided into oblivion for not recognising the ordinary Hieroglyphs which his
counterparts had translated ten times over already. Hiding his shame in his
shame-hiding-box, Nosegay absconded with the vital papyrus and devoted his otherwise
useless life to analysis of the scene depicted therein. For there, unmistakably sketched on the
very page before him, lay the first archaeological evidence of glove duelling in ancient Egypt. "

I'm not sure which is stranger: that excerpt or the fact that Ballscratch finds anything strange anymore...

I say strange in the idea it's outside of the usual.