Alright, just a standard thread of "Hey, this one time this happened" moments. Rather inspired... I was just took the elevator from the 17th floor to the 12th. By myself, i farted (a horrible deadly stench... embarassing, but by myself). Except at 16, two people got on, and took the elevator to the 15th floor... leading to the most uncomfortable floor to floor move ever... and then another person got on when they got off, and proceeded to take the elevator the rest of the way.

The smell wasn't just "lingering", it was nose hair curling even when I left. I was torn between hiding in a corner and bursting out giggling... but clearly the most awkward thing ever... NEVER fart on an elevator... EVER.

Anyone else have any awkward stories? (when you were the bystander, or front and center?)

Computer lab at college

I started to stand up using my arms as leverage. My knees were giving me trouble that day. I surprised myself with a very loud fart... and caused the two beautiful women sitting a row down from me to start giggling. Suffice it to say, as soon as they turned around, I was out of there.

Thanks for the laughs.

I have so many moments where I've just done or said something inappropriate it often reaches the point of NOT being funny. I'll list just one.

In high school, I was in JROTC. We often did color guard and honor guard for veterans at their funerals. I was in the color guard at graveside, holding a flag upright, and the command to lower the flag to about 45 degrees was given. Unfortunately, one of the mourners was sitting right in front of me, and I actually hit him in the head with the flagpole. Then to make it even worse, I started snickering. At a funeral.
I never did color guard at a funeral again.

Yeah, embarrassing shit always seemed to happen to me in JROTC.

Well, I have a few moments worth mentioning, but I think I'll start with something that almost became a very bad moment for me.

The first time I ever went to a stand-up show was at "The Improv" in Irvine. I was there with a few members of my family and we got a fair sized table up front. I didn't get to sit on the bench seats, and instead wound up on a chair at the end of the table. After we'd gotten our drinks and it was getting very close to the time that the comics would start, I made the mistake of leaning on the table to hear the conversation I was supposed to be apart of.

I say mistake because I assumed that these tables were actually connected to the floor. This was not the case. The whole thing tipped and I almost had every single drink on slide over to spill all over me. I pulled back in time to avoid this fate, but I remember thinking "The last place that I would want that to happen would be in the front row of a stand-up comedian's show."

Not necessarily awkward, but I have more that I can get to later. Probably relate an incident from pushing through a crowd in middle school.

Always carry a whoopee cushion with you, so in situations like this you can nonchalantly pull it out and be like "Who put this here?"

and then ask why they filled it with such foul smelling fumes???

I tend to make a lot of boo boos. One really bitchy and annoying lady just came in and started ripping me a new one... I told her to please calm down and i asked what she needed.
She told me that we stole her ps3.... I asked her why should would think that, she said that when she got home after trying to trade the broken pile of crap into my work, it wasnt in her car...
Well we had it out for about 8 mins and she eventually left saying she would search her car and house again and then call the owners of the store...
Well me and my amazing ability to talk when i shouldnt. accidently blurted out that maybe she should search her fat ass for it.
Amazingly she didnt hear me, but her son did.... and he started laughing his ass off on the way out.
My face went beat red.

P.S i found the evil ladies ps3 on my way home from work... I can only assume she left it on her car roof cause it was shattered in the parking lot.

Registering on this Forum has got to be one on my top list, the rest of them are too dirty for you kids.

I tried vaulting a bench and ended up landing on my face. Ah, good times...

our r.o.t.c. group only went to one, one of our instructors. (several years since I graduated that school, and still remember him)

however, Drill platoon at practice nailed the battalion commander in the back of the head with the flat end of a flipping rifle. She was supposed to catch it, and did. Just not where she needed to. Luckily no concussion


edit:

college, at a campus house. One of the ladies was going out to a club with friends.

1) that's the first time I ever lost track of what was going on around me. I'm a guy, but I usually try to be a gentleman.

2) she would have been offended. Except that when she said "Goodnight Jay" implying I needed to leave, I responded with "Goodnight Jay" without realizing what I was saying

She and the guy she was flirting with laughed very hard at that.