(Kinda funny when your such an author that the first thing you put on a forum is a story, isn't it?)

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" SPLAT!
"Great. Where the hell am I now?" Richard said to himself, picking himself and his scattered arms, feet, and head off the ground. "I've been shrunken and banished, then dropped off here..." As he stood up and looked around he realized precisely where he was, at least in his opinion. "I'm in 'I've got no idea where I am'!" he said to himself, as if he had just solved some great riddle. As he was standing there, finger raise in triumph, a pair of daggers stabbed him in the eyes. "Well.....Now I've got to wash my eyes...." he said, plucking them out with the daggers, and pulling them off and closing the hole.....Somehow...I don't think even he knows. He had just put them back in when the bandits that had attacked his eyes so rudely came down upon him. There were about 6 of them total. 'Big deal' Richard thought as his hands ignited with a Fwoosh. A punch in mid-air sent a fist-shaped fireball hurling at the first, a burly bearded man wearing leather and carrying an axe. He screamed and tried to run away but the fist clocked him upside the head and burst him into flames, Richard laughing hysterically all the while. A flick and a wave and two more had burst into flames, running about and screaming. one even ran into another, lighting its companion on fire, leaving two cowering men left standing. They turned to run, but apparently what they saw scared them even more. Wait, that wasn't right....What could scare them more than the mighty Richard, chief warlock of the brothers of darkness, lord of the thirteen hells, master of the bones, emperor of the black, lord of the undead, mayor of a little village up the coast of another world, and LORD OF THE DANCE? Well whoever it was had very good aim, apparently, because both of them ended up flying into two different trees, swords in their heads, their bodies in a crucifixion position; hands feet, and.......Crotches, ouch....Nailed to the tree with throwing knives. What's more, this figure had to be pretty darn strong too, because the two swords were both longswords, and for a man to carry two longswords, and presumably use them, would take a good feat of strength. Either that, or they're extremely good swords....It looked to be a little of both as the figure approached. He was human, by the looks of it. Belts of throwing knifes adorned his torso in a bullet bandoleer fashion. Two longsword sheaths lay at his side, and he wore what appeared to be very well made brown leather. His black neck-length hair was brushed back in a type of wave, his face was rough and unshaven, adding the Mighty warrior look to this man. A black leather cloak adorned his back, its hood pulled back and the sun on his lightly tanned features.

"Six points for style. Need a bit of help skeleton?" the man asked, somehow unafraid of the mighty RICHARD as he stepped to retrieve his swords and knives and replacing them on his dagger belt and sword belt where they belonged.

"Yeah? Well eight points for effectiveness, and No. I would have killed them all myself anyways." he said, his hands fwooshing out of their combustion and falling to his sides.

"Yeah, you probably would have. You're a warlock aren't you?" he asked, stepping up to the skeleton unphased.

"Did the smell of rotting flesh, the flaming hands, or the fact that I'm a corpse tip you off?" Richard asked, pointing out each fact as he went on.

"The smell told me long before I even got near." he said, fanning the air.

"Yeah, well, thanks and all, but..." as he said this he lashed out with his claw in an attempt to slice open the newcomer's face. Not his smartest idea. Both of his hands the lower halves of his legs were cut off before he could even draw his arm back.

"Uh-uh-uh." the human said, wagging his finger like he was talking to a child. "That's not any way to treat your allies." Upon looking at the state this human had thrown him in in half a second, he looked up at him and proclaimed, "I hereby declare you worthy of being one of my compatriots. Now will you please get me my legs and my hands back?" As the human gave him his missing appendages, he decided to introduce himself. "the name's Seth." he said, handing him his left hand (pun not intended.).

"Yeah? Mine's Richard, chief warlock of the brothers of darkness, lord of the thirteen hells, master of the bones, emperor of the black, lord of the undead, mayor of a little village up a coast in another world, and LORD OF THE DANCE!" he proclaimed, waving his arms in the air triumphantly.

"Too many titles." Seth said, lifting him up in the air with his left hand. "Didn't realise corpses were so light. Anyways. We should go find somewhere to stay, or crows will end up trying to eat you."

------------------------------------------------------TO BE CONTINUED------------------------------------------------------------------

I think it's pretty good. Finally someone besides me who does something bad to Richard. I think that makes two to ever do that in the history of LFG!

I just do bad things to Richard cause it makes him seem even more awesome

Yeah, it does. That's one of the reason's I do bad things to Richard.

1. Interesting, funny, and I like it.

2. Why was this reported? I'm guessing it was a mistake. You're new to the boards and hit "report" instead of "reply"?

Interesting. I like.
HOWEVER.

I hereby OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCE that this person is to be reffered to as Ancient, as the name Dragon is taken. :K






AHEM. Warlocks and Witches. =P
Richard being terrified of the lampades cuz they could easily drain him of his magic and therefore kill him... and they nearly do, several times.
So it's THREE of us.

I was thinking the same thing. Heh.

Why not just call him "The ancient dragon" or "Tad"? Why ancient?

"Yeah. I accidentally hit report when I was trying to hit the reply button :/. But thanks for the positive reinforcement. Makes me want to put the time into a chapter two eventually.

(I just realized I completely forgot to capitalize my name :/)

Sorry, I forgot about the lampades. So, yes, that makes Three.

part 2 of ??

"Oooooh. I like this place." Richard said. They had stepped outside of the Mud n' blood in. And that seemed to be what it was painted in. Knives were stuck in the walls at certain places, blood spattered the walls, and grime covered the floor. Inside were a group of thuggish looking men and women, except one. A tall and beautiful lass, fair of face and......Voluptuous of body. (we're talking Double F's for all you perverts out there. And more than a ghetto in the back.) Seth smiled and indicated her. "That's me girl there. Her name's Shirley, and she's been workin here for a while. We're planning on leaving soon." he said, in his light woodsman accent.
"You mean the girl that's getting groped?" Richard asked, and Seth spun around to see one of the burlier men reach up and cop a feel of the girl's rear, only to receive a punch in the face that sent him sprawling across the ground, unconscious, from Seth. The men around him began to get up, but a cold glare from Seth had them sitting back down. "Bartender, how many times have I told you to warn the patrons to leave Shirley alone, or I'd find em..." he said, dropping a dagger lightly as he walked by the unconscious man, which landed tip down in a vital organ. Well...Not truly vital.....Let's just say he'll never have anyone to continue his family's line of brutishness. 'I'm liking this guy more and more,' thought Richard, looking at the man lying on the ground as he followed. 'He's certainly a lot better than Cale..More like the dwarf girl. But human....and taller.....And DEFINITELY a guy.'

"Sorry." the bartender said, breaking Richard from his thoughts. "New group. Didn't hear a word I said before they sat down. Tried to warn em, and they told me one man couldn't do anything."

"I resent that remark." Richard said, his hand fwooshing in and out of ignition for a moment. "I bet ye do." the bartender said, nodding. "Well, ye can take a seat if ye want Seth. I'm sure Shirley'll be around soon." but Seth didn't want a drink. Not now. He walked over to the girl he loved. "Are you alright Shirley?" he asked, turning her to face him. "Yes, I'm fine. He only gave me ass a feel. Might have been a bit more if you hadn't come along when ye had though." she said in a much heavier peasant accent than Seth's. "Right. I'll see you at home tonight. The skeleton's gonna come with us on our travels." he said, indicating richard, who smiled, saying "Hi, I'm Richard."
"Do you think it's safe?" she asked, looking to Seth.

"Yes, he's a friend."

"I'm Richard." he said, being ignored again.

"He'll even prove a good help." Seth said, before another "I'm Richard."

"Richard, lets go. I need to show you around town before we head back to my home." Seth said, patting Richard on the back and making him cough up a rodent skull from his mask.
"What? I was hungry."

-Later that night-
Richard couldn't sleep if he wanted to. He kept hearing noises from the couple's room. Being undead, and not putting two and two together, he went to see what it was. "What the hell is he-Holy god!" he said, not being heard. "Well. She really is quite the lovely woman." he said, going back to what he was doing for the night.

That works too. As long as we dont' call him Dragon lol. XD

dragon dragon dragon.

It's amazing how the first post after I put up a new chapter has nothing to do with the actual chapter, but a conversation started beforehand. Someone take the time to read it please?

It was very nice. A very good entry. There, something about the chapter, now can you post more?

xD. You like it that much?

It's about Richard, of course I do! There's no one better than Richard!

I agree

Part 3 of ??

The next morning, Seth stepped out and called for richard. "Over here." came the reply from behind him. Seth turned around to see Richard's severed head sitting on the coffee table. He almost yelled, but calmed down and remembered Richard was undead.

"Where's your body?" He asked, stepping over to the coffee table and sitting down beside it.
"It was separated from me when I tried to round a corner, but my feet got stuck and so only my head went around." he said, turning as best he could to face Seth. "Last I saw it it started walking on the ceiling, considering it has no sense of left or right....Or gravity....But then again gravity was never a problem for me."

at that moment the corpse's body walked into the room, on the ceiling, somehow his clothing remaining in place.

"Right, let me get that for you." Seth said, grabbing a hammer from a closet beside him and whacking the body, making it fall from the ceiling, where he put Richard's head on.

"Hey, you took out a rib." Richard said, putting a hand on his chest. "Thanks, that thing was itching me for a while."

"Riiiiiiiiiight..." Seth said, shaking his head in disbelief. "Well, we're leaving out today. Shirley is getting dressed now, and we'll leave when she's ready."

"Oh, I'm afraid ye won't be getting that chance." came a voice from outside.

"What now...." Seth said, drawing his longswords.

part 4 of ??

The door fell over, revealing an entire gang of burly looking men. One of them was the one Seth had clocked and then castrated. He was still limping, and there was still a mark on his face.
"We heard what ye did to old Redgey here and we decided it's time for a little payback..." said the burliest, apparently their leader, who was like a tall dwarf: thick, bearded, bald, and angry.

"Two against many. I like those odds, don't you Richard?" Seth asked, standing up and drawing his longswords.

"Oh, very much." Richard said, cracking his knuckles.

-And so it began.-

Richard and Seth both rushed the gang, taking the fight outside, where there was more room to kill. On the way, Richard gouged out the eyes of 'Redgey' and sliced open his throat with his claw-like hands. Once outside, the onslaught began. Richards hands went up in flames as he continued his martial artist routine, but with much more destructive results. Every punch sent the enemy in flames, and Richard happened to be using a style that used many fast punches in quick succession. Seth was equally deadly, his expertly crafted longswords slicing through the bandits like paper, killing them quickly and bloodily. Richard's hands doused for a moment as he put his hands on the sides of one's head, frying his mind with his powers. He then decided to take a more mage-like approach, standing back and shooting lightning bolts at his enemies, while Sethran disengaged from his enemy after killing it, seeing what Richard was doing, and stood back and threw his knives in tandem with richard, many of them becoming electrocuted for twice the damage. What was once 30 men had become 2, and those two had no desire to finish the fight. As they turned to run, Richard and Sethran both nodded to each other, and Sethran drew his swords as they both pounced on the remaining two, tackling them to the ground, where Sethran sliced his opponent's head off, and Richard simply pulled his foe's head off. They stood up, drenched in blood, and Sethran began collecting his throwing knives after wiping his swords on the grass. "Ye've got a little something there warlock." Seth said, pointing to the warlock, to where an axe was sticking into his chest.

"Oh, that? That's a parting gift from Redgey." he said, pulling it out. With that, he dropped it and followed Seth, who had picked up his daggers, back inside, where Richard absorbed all of the blood on them into a small sphere, which he saved for later. "You'd be amazed how many people want to run if you cover them in blood before the fight even begins." he said, as he stuffed it into what seemed to be a bottomless pocket.

Epic fight, still want more story!

Hey...where are my sory gone?

to school, with my brain :/

(finally.)

Part 4 of ??

Seth, Shirley, and Richard all set out from the house after they had all prepared themselves, and began their road South. Richard quickly became the object of many laughs as his antics managed to keep the group entertained. Their laughter, however, was suddenly cut short as screams resounded in the area, followed by the sound of rushing water. Seth, glancing at Richard, who shrugged, both wanting to not do a good deed, but also find the scene of gore, ran off towards the sound, swords drawing as he ran. He stopped and hugged against a tree, stopping just quick enough to keep the figure ahead from noticing him. It was a silver-haired elf by a river, about Richard's height, wearing the long, flowing robes of a spellcaster. These robes were adorned with many a rune and water symbol, and atop his back rested, of all things, a coffin. It was a silver coffin, which distorted at the top where the head would be to create a jug's lid, making it look like some oversized silver gothic coffin paraphernelia flask. That lip was covered in a wooden lid, jammed into the opening to make it hold fast. The silver haired man kneeled down, a noticable sloshing noise emanating from the coffin on his back, and leaned over the corpse of what appeared to be a knight, soaked and slashed in many places. Seth drew a knife and tossed it at the stranger with a yell, opening the fight against the supposed murderer. Quiet, emotionless, the figure simply moved forward, the knife bouncing off of his coffin. He turned to the tree Seth had returned to hiding behind, his expression blank, his deep blue eyes cold and steely. The wooden lid of the coffin shook, rattled, and shot off, a stream of water flowing from within, as well as water from the river behind him, and flowed forward past the silent elf. The water swirled and shifted, amorphous in form. A torrent of water separated and swung itself at the tree, the water cutting through like a blade. Seth dived for the ground as the tree's trunk toppled over and nearly fell on him. This would be an interesting fight. Seth leaped off the ground, finally being joined by Richard, flaming hands ready, and readied his swords to fight this strange elf. The fight erupted then. Water rushed at the pair, and they leaped forward, slicing and burning their way through. The water continued to go on, the elf actually using his limbs to direct it this time. The water seemed to increase and intensify in power and speed every time it was accompanied by his limbs' motions. They dodged, rolled, jumped, flipped, did everything they could to dodge the deadly waves, as they fought for headway and an attempt to get a steady blow in. As the fight raged on, Shirley watched from nearby, terrified at the idea of losing her loved one. Richard grabbed Seth's left hand blade, which he let go of instinctively, trusting the undead warlock (ha ha, bad idea, in general.). The sword instantly caught on fire, and Richard cut a burning swathe through the water, turning it to steam upon contact. As richard got close, and made ready to swing at the elf directly, Seth closed in himself.


"STOP!!!!"