The cold night air was still in the moonless darkness. Only the stars shone dimly. A cloaked figure stood atop a cliff, looking down at the shadow-covered land below. The black robes and dark hood obscured the being, but long pointed ears poked out of slits in the hood, faintly lit by starlight. The being raised its hand rather ominously. A dark, winged creature fluttered down and landed on the outstretched fingers. The figure lowered its hand, turned, and walked down the hill, black cape flowing behind the sinister form.
***
Cale walked through the forest, Rin at his side. Birds chirped in the morning light. Pella and Richard followed, Benny leading the whole group.
“He should be back by now. He said he’d be here,” she said.
“So what’s this Krunch guy like?” Rintasha asked.
“He’s wise,” Cale said, smiling at the female elf by his side, “powerful, kind… I think you’ll like him.” Rin smiled at him. It had been only a few weeks since the battle of Lightsteel Mine, but things were calm once more. Still, the elves were itching for adventure. They looked around. Dew sparkled on the pale flowers of the woods, animals went about their business, and a golden light illuminated the world. At last, they came to the edge of the forest, meeting up with a grey minotaur.
“Hello, Krunch. How are you?” Benny asked.
“I’m fine, Gid. And what all did I miss?”
“You wouldn’t believe what we’ve been through. I’ll tell you about it all. How did things go with you and the Alazorians?”
“They’ve accepted my offer. Peace has been made,” the mighty minotaur said with a sage nod. He turned to the other members of the group. Noticing Rin, he asked, “And who is this? Found yourself a girl, then, have you, Cale?” He grinned in a congratulatory and non-provocative way. Cale blushed vividly and reacted violently regardless.
“She’s not my girlfriend!” He snapped angrily.
Benny shook her head and whispered to Krunch, “He’s in denial about his feelings.”
“Ah,” Krunch whispered back with a somewhat amused grin, “I’ll just humor him then.”
And that's where Krunch was. Diplomacy. *shiftyeyes* That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Yes, Cale's still in denial. Shocking, isn't it? =P
Full Version: FANFIC: The Night Warden
nice begining i must say...and i ask um...how in the nine hells did you triple post...that seems like a feat!
QUOTE (Sal @ May 6 2009, 09:52 PM) 
nice begining i must say...and i ask um...how in the nine hells did you triple post...that seems like a feat!
I agree, a triple post is very epic indeed. As for the start I am glad you didn't "forget" Krunch this time at least lol. Nice start to the story.
QUOTE (Sal @ May 6 2009, 06:52 PM)
nice begining i must say...and i ask um...how in the nine hells did you triple post...that seems like a feat!
Comp glitched. X.x
Dragon is embarassed, but it's one of those rare hide-and-look-ashamed-while-blushing embarassments rather than the angry ones.
QUOTE (Jowy @ May 6 2009, 06:55 PM)
I agree, a triple post is very epic indeed. As for the start I am glad you didn't "forget" Krunch this time at least lol. Nice start to the story.
I kinda feel bad for Krunch. I mean...you FORGOT him. If for some crazy reason he poofs into your room and looks at your computer i'd have a good excuse ready.
QUOTE (Sal @ May 6 2009, 06:58 PM)
I kinda feel bad for Krunch. I mean...you FORGOT him. If for some crazy reason he poofs into your room and looks at your computer i'd have a good excuse ready.
Heh. Well... ^^;;;
Heh.
Anyway he's here now.
Better get explaining to him why you forgot him then. Would hate to lose you to a well placed hammer swipe after getting this story started.
Hey did you guys notice an admin was veiwing this topic like 5 seconds ago...scared the crude outa me...
***
The group sat around the campfire. Benny, Pella, Rin, and Cale told the story of the orbs, voices full of excitement, Krunch listening with interest.
“And then Cale crawled out on the wing of a flying dragon and ripped the arrow right out!” Rin said, grinning broadly at Cale.
“Well… it was nothing, really… I mean, you were depending on me, what else could I do?” he replied, “It was you who saved the day there. I would have died if it weren’t for your flying skills.”
“It was all of us,” Benny pointed out, “although that was pretty impressive when you put the Sunblade through Gruffohr, Cale.”
“Thanks,” the elf said.
“Well,” Krunch said thoughtfully, “it sounds like you’ve been through a lot. If you don’t mind though, I’d like to drag you all somewhere else. I saw a castle on the way here, atop a hill.”
Rin and Cale looked at each other.
“Relax, it can’t have been the Dark Ones’ castle,” Pella said, “that was the other way!”
“You all get some sleep. We’ll go tomorrow,” the old cow said.
***
The group rose early, when the sky was still somewhat dark, and trekked across the fields, into another small grove of trees, toward the small castle on the horizon. It was not sinister or imposing, which was quite a change from the norm. A figure slipped out from around a tree. The elves jumped.
“Oh, sorry,” the figure said, “did I startle you?” He was an elf, too! He was tall, strong-chested, very handsome, with long white hair, not blond like Cale’s, actually white. He had dark eyes and wore black leather that showed off his wiry but athletic form. A black cape with red edges was wrapped around him, clasped with a simple silver buckle, without the fanciness of his fellow elf’s signature cloak. His belt had metal studs in it, and two daggers, one on either side of his hips. A jet black hawk perched on his shoulder. He raised one hand, with a fingerless but long and wide black glove, palm up. He grinned and raised one eyebrow.
“I suppose I should introduce myself,” he said, “of course, only if you are willing to do the same.”
The group members looked at each other blankly, then slowly introduced themselves to the handsome white-haired elf.
“My name,” he said, “is Rukh. Pleased to meet you.”
“Something about him,” Benny muttered to Krunch, “reminds me of Tah’vraay. Probably that grin of his.”
“Where are you going, good Rukh?” Cale asked, attempting to be polite and not judge the man before he’d gotten to meet him properly.
“Wherever the winds take me,” Rukh replied, still smirking, “if you don’t mind, I suppose I could travel with you, yes?”
“Of course, I guess,” Cale said, blinking at the rather sudden request. Rukh simply grinned and nodded.
Anyway, I COULDN'T put Krunch in my first story. After all... Six characters would be too many.
Oh, and Rukh already has a theme song...
Edit: forgot meh italics. *brick'd*
The group sat around the campfire. Benny, Pella, Rin, and Cale told the story of the orbs, voices full of excitement, Krunch listening with interest.
“And then Cale crawled out on the wing of a flying dragon and ripped the arrow right out!” Rin said, grinning broadly at Cale.
“Well… it was nothing, really… I mean, you were depending on me, what else could I do?” he replied, “It was you who saved the day there. I would have died if it weren’t for your flying skills.”
“It was all of us,” Benny pointed out, “although that was pretty impressive when you put the Sunblade through Gruffohr, Cale.”
“Thanks,” the elf said.
“Well,” Krunch said thoughtfully, “it sounds like you’ve been through a lot. If you don’t mind though, I’d like to drag you all somewhere else. I saw a castle on the way here, atop a hill.”
Rin and Cale looked at each other.
“Relax, it can’t have been the Dark Ones’ castle,” Pella said, “that was the other way!”
“You all get some sleep. We’ll go tomorrow,” the old cow said.
***
The group rose early, when the sky was still somewhat dark, and trekked across the fields, into another small grove of trees, toward the small castle on the horizon. It was not sinister or imposing, which was quite a change from the norm. A figure slipped out from around a tree. The elves jumped.
“Oh, sorry,” the figure said, “did I startle you?” He was an elf, too! He was tall, strong-chested, very handsome, with long white hair, not blond like Cale’s, actually white. He had dark eyes and wore black leather that showed off his wiry but athletic form. A black cape with red edges was wrapped around him, clasped with a simple silver buckle, without the fanciness of his fellow elf’s signature cloak. His belt had metal studs in it, and two daggers, one on either side of his hips. A jet black hawk perched on his shoulder. He raised one hand, with a fingerless but long and wide black glove, palm up. He grinned and raised one eyebrow.
“I suppose I should introduce myself,” he said, “of course, only if you are willing to do the same.”
The group members looked at each other blankly, then slowly introduced themselves to the handsome white-haired elf.
“My name,” he said, “is Rukh. Pleased to meet you.”
“Something about him,” Benny muttered to Krunch, “reminds me of Tah’vraay. Probably that grin of his.”
“Where are you going, good Rukh?” Cale asked, attempting to be polite and not judge the man before he’d gotten to meet him properly.
“Wherever the winds take me,” Rukh replied, still smirking, “if you don’t mind, I suppose I could travel with you, yes?”
“Of course, I guess,” Cale said, blinking at the rather sudden request. Rukh simply grinned and nodded.
Anyway, I COULDN'T put Krunch in my first story. After all... Six characters would be too many.
Oh, and Rukh already has a theme song...
Edit: forgot meh italics. *brick'd*
QUOTE (Sal @ May 6 2009, 07:25 PM)
Hey did you guys notice an admin was veiwing this topic like 5 seconds ago...scared the crude outa me...
He was probably just checking to see if this was one of the multiples.
All my copies of this thread had "please delete this extra that was accidentally posted" in them. He was probably just making sure he didn't miss any.
QUOTE (LittleFireDragon @ May 6 2009, 07:32 PM)
He was probably just checking to see if this was one of the multiples.
All my copies of this thread had "please delete this extra that was accidentally posted" in them. He was probably just making sure he didn't miss any.
All my copies of this thread had "please delete this extra that was accidentally posted" in them. He was probably just making sure he didn't miss any.
oh whew...i thought we were in trouble...i was like freaking out a little bit lol
and nice post...though i do not like the theme song
QUOTE (Sal @ May 6 2009, 07:35 PM)
oh whew...i thought we were in trouble...i was like freaking out a little bit lol
and nice post...though i do not like the theme song
and nice post...though i do not like the theme song
It sounds like a broken demented music box, I know. I'm not too fond of it. But it suits Rukh.
QUOTE (LittleFireDragon @ May 6 2009, 07:36 PM)
It sounds like a broken demented music box, I know. I'm not too fond of it. But it suits Rukh.
Whatever you like...i know nothing of the character so fire away!
on an unrelated note since theme's were brought up, I think http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHsXNkI1rfA...feature=related will fit perfectly into one of the later parts of my story.
QUOTE (Jowy @ May 6 2009, 08:04 PM)
on an unrelated note since theme's were brought up, I think http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHsXNkI1rfA...feature=related will fit perfectly into one of the later parts of my story.
Love the song. ^^
Cool, by the name of the song I think it will be obvious where it belongs when I get to that point in my story, that's the last I am saying about it before I get outta hand and post major spoilers.
*writes*
Hrm.
Rukh is not a very likable person. But you may end up loving him because of that. I seriously don't know how you're gonna take this guy. XD
Funny little tidbit: I originally designed him based on the hunter class in WoW. I then went through my characterization process, editing and making him into a story character. Somehow he turned into a rogue. No idea how that happened. XD
Hrm.
Rukh is not a very likable person. But you may end up loving him because of that. I seriously don't know how you're gonna take this guy. XD
Funny little tidbit: I originally designed him based on the hunter class in WoW. I then went through my characterization process, editing and making him into a story character. Somehow he turned into a rogue. No idea how that happened. XD
Gotta love how things like that can happen. Back when I first started my druid he was meant to be a warrior class, dunno how it went from warrior to druid but it happened and he was my first 80 toon.
They continued on their way, the new shadowy elf in tow. Rukh examined each of his new companions, looking over Rin twice. He looked at Cale thoughtfully, wondering how much money the blond elf had on him… Rukh’s hand twitched toward his dagger, but he decided it wasn’t worth the effort. Nah, probably doesn’t have any cash anyway, he thought.
“There’s something about that castle,” Benny said, as they arrived at the door of the castle, looking up at it, “It’s not scary, but… there’s something… weird about it. It’s kinda creepy, but… in a sad way, not a scary way.”
“Yeah,” Cale agreed, “I know what you mean.”
They entered. The halls were dark and quiet. The castle was empty; there were no signs of life whatsoever. Crimson rugs and tapestries and banners decorated the ornate corridors. Candles sat in their stands but were not lit, however, the morning sun filtering in through the windows allowed the heroes to see. They wandered through the abandoned rooms. Somehow, even though the whole place was dusty and dark, and seemed like it had been a very long time since anyone lived there, the furniture, rugs, and decorations were in fairly good condition. Things were neglected and fading but not falling apart. Rukh rummaged through an old cabinet, pocketing a gold necklace he found.
“Hey!” Cale said, catching the rogue in the act, “put that back! That’s not yours, that belongs to somebody!”
“Who cares?” the white-haired elf said over his shoulder, hands still in the dresser, “whoever it belongs to is long gone. It’s mine now.”
He and Cale glared at each other for several minutes before noticing that the others were moving on and rushing to catch up to them.
“You boys need to stop fighting,” Krunch said over his shoulder, “it makes you both look immature.”
“Shut your face, cow,” Rukh muttered.
“What did you say?” the minotaur asked, one eyebrow raised.
“Nothing,” the rogue said, smiling innocently.
They all froze as something rustled in the rafters above them. A dark shape with long legs, a lengthy tail, and massive black wings flew silently to the ground in front of them, landing without a sound in front of them, hunched over. Cale gave a small gasp and backed into the others, who also moved away from the mysterious winged animal.
I kinda like Rukh. Even if he's a jackass.
“There’s something about that castle,” Benny said, as they arrived at the door of the castle, looking up at it, “It’s not scary, but… there’s something… weird about it. It’s kinda creepy, but… in a sad way, not a scary way.”
“Yeah,” Cale agreed, “I know what you mean.”
They entered. The halls were dark and quiet. The castle was empty; there were no signs of life whatsoever. Crimson rugs and tapestries and banners decorated the ornate corridors. Candles sat in their stands but were not lit, however, the morning sun filtering in through the windows allowed the heroes to see. They wandered through the abandoned rooms. Somehow, even though the whole place was dusty and dark, and seemed like it had been a very long time since anyone lived there, the furniture, rugs, and decorations were in fairly good condition. Things were neglected and fading but not falling apart. Rukh rummaged through an old cabinet, pocketing a gold necklace he found.
“Hey!” Cale said, catching the rogue in the act, “put that back! That’s not yours, that belongs to somebody!”
“Who cares?” the white-haired elf said over his shoulder, hands still in the dresser, “whoever it belongs to is long gone. It’s mine now.”
He and Cale glared at each other for several minutes before noticing that the others were moving on and rushing to catch up to them.
“You boys need to stop fighting,” Krunch said over his shoulder, “it makes you both look immature.”
“Shut your face, cow,” Rukh muttered.
“What did you say?” the minotaur asked, one eyebrow raised.
“Nothing,” the rogue said, smiling innocently.
They all froze as something rustled in the rafters above them. A dark shape with long legs, a lengthy tail, and massive black wings flew silently to the ground in front of them, landing without a sound in front of them, hunched over. Cale gave a small gasp and backed into the others, who also moved away from the mysterious winged animal.
I kinda like Rukh. Even if he's a jackass.
honestly I started thinking of alex as a rogue like character early one and WTF somehow she gets a *insert curse here* dragon! It's sad as an author when I have no idea what my characters are gonna do next! I mean I spent all day at school planning what I was going to write and didn't even do anything close! silly characters developing a life of their own...
QUOTE (Sal @ May 6 2009, 09:14 PM)
honestly I started thinking of alex as a rogue like character early one and WTF somehow she gets a *insert curse here* dragon! It's sad as an author when I have no idea what my characters are gonna do next! I mean I spent all day at school planning what I was going to write and didn't even do anything close! silly characters developing a life of their own...
My roleplaying characters do that.
Edit: Make sure you dont' miss the story post on the last page. Page flipped right as I posted.
Actually, I pegged Rin as a hunter class myself. thats why i think its a good thing Rukh is a rogue, it will def add interest to it having a rogue like class with em.
QUOTE (LittleFireDragon @ May 6 2009, 09:10 PM)
I kinda like Rukh. Even if he's a jackass.
Rukh is reminding me of Mr. Teatime (Teh-Ah-Tim- Eh) from Terry Pratchett's Hogfather. He is an assassin who is sent to kill the novel's equivalent of Santa Claus. He is a psychotic killer and I love em. BTW if you haven't read any of Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels go to the book store right now and buy Reaper Man or Hogfather.
Edit: heres a link to his wiki page...
http://wiki.lspace.org/wiki/Jonathan_Teatime
QUOTE (Jowy @ May 6 2009, 09:20 PM)
Actually, I pegged Rin as a hunter class myself. thats why i think its a good thing Rukh is a rogue, it will def add interest to it having a rogue like class with em.
Well Rin IS a hunter. And yes, it's interesting. They needed a rogue.
IF YOU MISSED THE POST ABOUT RUKH TELLING KRUNCH TO SHUT HIS FACE, GO BACK AND READ IT.
It was easy to miss that post.
~~~~~
It raised itself up to its normal height, about as tall as the elves. It then stepped forward, out of the shadows. It was a slender, bipedal dragon! Her scales were dark crimson, with orange along her back. Her body, from her hips to her neck, was like that of an elf, but her legs were triple-jointed like a wolf or a horse, and she had a reptilian tail. She was dressed in a brown, sleeveless leather shirt that did not cover her midriff, and a matching leather skirt that went down to her knees, about a third of the way down the legs. What had appeared to be a massive set of wings was actually a black cape that fastened directly in front of her neck, with tattered ends.
“Dragon?!” Rin said, “Is that you, Dragon?”
Dragon wrapped her cloak around her. “Aye, it is me indeed. Greetings, champions, masters of arrow, fire, and steel.
I have been given a message for you by the Archmage,
Warning? Advice? Not I shall reveal.
The curtain falls, setting the stage.
An epic story unfolds from within the wolf’s ears, the goal yet unknown.
Follow the Blade of Nocturne; it leads by its tip.
The great eagle, seeds of chaos has sown.
Unknowing heroes fall into the grip.
Not all is as it seems: right may be wrong and wrong may be right.
All shall make itself clear when Fenrir swallows the sun.
Sometimes the brightest light is visible only in the darkest of night.
Thus it was written and thus it shall be done.”
“Curse you, Dragon! Why must you always speak in riddles!?” Rin sort of screamed. Apparently she knew this creature, and was irritated with it.
“Because, Rintasha, I am what I am. The lion may mourn the lamb, but he must eat all the same.
You know me, I never tell too much; to me this life is all a game!
Riddle and rhyme are my trade,
And in my words, a debt is payed,” Dragon said with a grin. With supernatural speed, she leapt back into the support beams, disappearing into the shadows.
“Grrr….” the elf growled, fists clenched in frustration, “I hate when she does that!”
*watches you all scratch your heads at my riddle*
It was easy to miss that post.
~~~~~
It raised itself up to its normal height, about as tall as the elves. It then stepped forward, out of the shadows. It was a slender, bipedal dragon! Her scales were dark crimson, with orange along her back. Her body, from her hips to her neck, was like that of an elf, but her legs were triple-jointed like a wolf or a horse, and she had a reptilian tail. She was dressed in a brown, sleeveless leather shirt that did not cover her midriff, and a matching leather skirt that went down to her knees, about a third of the way down the legs. What had appeared to be a massive set of wings was actually a black cape that fastened directly in front of her neck, with tattered ends.
“Dragon?!” Rin said, “Is that you, Dragon?”
Dragon wrapped her cloak around her. “Aye, it is me indeed. Greetings, champions, masters of arrow, fire, and steel.
I have been given a message for you by the Archmage,
Warning? Advice? Not I shall reveal.
The curtain falls, setting the stage.
An epic story unfolds from within the wolf’s ears, the goal yet unknown.
Follow the Blade of Nocturne; it leads by its tip.
The great eagle, seeds of chaos has sown.
Unknowing heroes fall into the grip.
Not all is as it seems: right may be wrong and wrong may be right.
All shall make itself clear when Fenrir swallows the sun.
Sometimes the brightest light is visible only in the darkest of night.
Thus it was written and thus it shall be done.”
“Curse you, Dragon! Why must you always speak in riddles!?” Rin sort of screamed. Apparently she knew this creature, and was irritated with it.
“Because, Rintasha, I am what I am. The lion may mourn the lamb, but he must eat all the same.
You know me, I never tell too much; to me this life is all a game!
Riddle and rhyme are my trade,
And in my words, a debt is payed,” Dragon said with a grin. With supernatural speed, she leapt back into the support beams, disappearing into the shadows.
“Grrr….” the elf growled, fists clenched in frustration, “I hate when she does that!”
*watches you all scratch your heads at my riddle*
okay...um Fenrir is a giant dog in some sort of mythololgy that is going to destroy the world one day...
and um...in their darkest hour help will come hence the "brightest light line"
I'm betting in the end Ruhk is coming away with the Blade of Nocturne (which is a pokemon if you didn't know)
and i must say....
THE ARCHMAGE IS A BASTARD!!!!!
and um...in their darkest hour help will come hence the "brightest light line"
I'm betting in the end Ruhk is coming away with the Blade of Nocturne (which is a pokemon if you didn't know)
and i must say....
THE ARCHMAGE IS A BASTARD!!!!!
QUOTE (Sal @ May 6 2009, 09:40 PM)
okay...um Fenrir is a giant dog in some sort of mythololgy that is going to destroy the world one day...
and um...in their darkest hour help will come hence the "brightest light line"
I'm betting in the end Ruhk is coming away with the Blade of Nocturne (which is a pokemon if you didn't know)
and i must say....
THE ARCHMAGE IS A BASTARD!!!!!
and um...in their darkest hour help will come hence the "brightest light line"
I'm betting in the end Ruhk is coming away with the Blade of Nocturne (which is a pokemon if you didn't know)
and i must say....
THE ARCHMAGE IS A BASTARD!!!!!
XD XD Sooooo far from the truth. XD
My riddle is nearly impossible to figure out until the end of the story. XD
Edit: And.... now that I read it again... so very CLOSE to the truth... but not how you think it is...
QUOTE (LittleFireDragon @ May 6 2009, 09:47 PM)
XD XD Sooooo far from the truth. XD
My riddle is nearly impossible to figure out until the end of the story. XD
My riddle is nearly impossible to figure out until the end of the story. XD
fine but i stand by what i said at the end...the more I write about him or read about him the more I loathe him...hes so...manipulative...grr
QUOTE (Sal @ May 6 2009, 09:48 PM)
fine but i stand by what i said at the end...the more I write about him or read about him the more I loathe him...hes so...manipulative...grr
I assume you can sympathise with Tavor in this comic, then?
QUOTE (LittleFireDragon @ May 6 2009, 09:48 PM)
I assume you can sympathise with Tavor in this comic, then?
oh very much so...i wish richard would have just stayed out of it...
There was silence for a moment.
“You know her?” Rukh asked.
“I have met her in the past,” Rintasha said.
“You call her Dragon,” Cale said, “doesn’t she have a name?”
“Nobody knows her name, save for a select few, and they have vowed never to say it. I am not one of them. It does not matter. She is annoyingly vague anyway. She seems to have been around forever too.” She shrugged. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Dragon has given us a riddle. It would do us well to solve it. Though she’s never told me anything this tough before.”
“Great eagle,” Krunch said, “sounds like she’s talking about the sky city.”
“Sky city?” Cale asked.
“A city in the clouds, built on magic. The city of mages,” Pella said, “I heard of that.”
“And how do you suggest we get there, old cow?” Benny asked.
“We take a flying ship.”
“What?”
“You heard me,” the minotaur said with a wise smile.
Ubershort entry. But hey, it works. =P Had to put something in the edited slot.
“You know her?” Rukh asked.
“I have met her in the past,” Rintasha said.
“You call her Dragon,” Cale said, “doesn’t she have a name?”
“Nobody knows her name, save for a select few, and they have vowed never to say it. I am not one of them. It does not matter. She is annoyingly vague anyway. She seems to have been around forever too.” She shrugged. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Dragon has given us a riddle. It would do us well to solve it. Though she’s never told me anything this tough before.”
“Great eagle,” Krunch said, “sounds like she’s talking about the sky city.”
“Sky city?” Cale asked.
“A city in the clouds, built on magic. The city of mages,” Pella said, “I heard of that.”
“And how do you suggest we get there, old cow?” Benny asked.
“We take a flying ship.”
“What?”
“You heard me,” the minotaur said with a wise smile.
Ubershort entry. But hey, it works. =P Had to put something in the edited slot.
oh my gods! Tavor now...i'm confused....arghh
QUOTE (Sal @ May 6 2009, 10:15 PM)
oh my gods! Tavor now...i'm confused....arghh
I had to. I could not resist.
Basically he made a deal with Dragon to bring him to the world of the living as a ghost for one day so he could help.
And now he's regretting it. =P
Edit:
Of course, if you want, I could edit that out and rewrite that section.
Edit2:
Actually, I am going to edit that out. Bear with me. I'm changing my mind about the plot all of a sudden.
QUOTE (LittleFireDragon @ May 6 2009, 10:17 PM)
I had to. I could not resist.
Basically he made a deal with Dragon to bring him to the world of the living as a ghost for one day so he could help.
And now he's regretting it. =P
Edit:
Of course, if you want, I could edit that out and rewrite that section.
Edit2:
Actually, I am going to edit that out. Bear with me. I'm changing my mind about the plot all of a sudden.
Basically he made a deal with Dragon to bring him to the world of the living as a ghost for one day so he could help.
And now he's regretting it. =P
Edit:
Of course, if you want, I could edit that out and rewrite that section.
Edit2:
Actually, I am going to edit that out. Bear with me. I'm changing my mind about the plot all of a sudden.
*bearing with you*
nevermind...
*going to bed* later.
QUOTE (Sal @ May 6 2009, 10:24 PM)
*bearing with you*
nevermind...
*going to bed* later.
nevermind...
*going to bed* later.
*points up*
It's been edited.... o.o
Lunaya might hunt you down and do mean, unmentionable things to you for removing Tavor from the story.
Personally, I liked it the way it was. I thought it set up a good bit of friction between characters and would make for some...interesting...conversations and happenings.
Personally, I liked it the way it was. I thought it set up a good bit of friction between characters and would make for some...interesting...conversations and happenings.
Nice take on adding a city that sounds like hmmm, bear with me, oh yeah, just like Dalaran lol ^.^ As for city of Mages, sounds like Xzistance would like the place, sorry, not related to your story but I just had to put it there. Nice entries on the last two posts by the way, can't wait for more.
Here you go guys, just follow this link http://forums.lfgcomic.com/index.php?showt...mp;#entry428788, I added some real life pics of me here on the RL Pic thread, tell me what you honestly think, it is okay. I can bear it I promise.
QUOTE (Devin Austra @ May 6 2009, 10:50 PM)
Lunaya might hunt you down and do mean, unmentionable things to you for removing Tavor from the story.
Personally, I liked it the way it was. I thought it set up a good bit of friction between characters and would make for some...interesting...conversations and happenings.
Personally, I liked it the way it was. I thought it set up a good bit of friction between characters and would make for some...interesting...conversations and happenings.
Hehe. ^^;;; Well, if it's requested, I may eventually take another break from the LoR series to do another story about Tavor.
Anyway, I was writing late at night, and looking back... I now realise that putting Tavor and Adelleh in the story would seriously screw everything up. They may however appear in future LoR stories. Unlikely though.
QUOTE (Jowy @ May 6 2009, 11:14 PM)
Nice take on adding a city that sounds like hmmm, bear with me, oh yeah, just like Dalaran lol ^.^ As for city of Mages, sounds like Xzistance would like the place, sorry, not related to your story but I just had to put it there. Nice entries on the last two posts by the way, can't wait for more.
Actually it's not based on Dalaran. In fact I didn't think of Dalaran until you mentioned it. XD
It was loosely, loosely based on a level in some spyro the dragon game.
QUOTE (LittleFireDragon @ May 7 2009, 03:29 PM)
Actually it's not based on Dalaran. In fact I didn't think of Dalaran until you mentioned it. XD
It was loosely, loosely based on a level in some spyro the dragon game.
It was loosely, loosely based on a level in some spyro the dragon game.
I think I know which one you are talking about sadly...
*writing*
So far, this story sucks.
It will either be my fail-story or it will get better as it goes.
So far, this story sucks.
It will either be my fail-story or it will get better as it goes.
Heh, had to throw this in, I noticed no comments about my pics from the RL pic thread I linked, is it really as bad as I think it is lol? Or did you guys even have a look yet?
Also, on topic here. It happens to all of us at some point if it comes to be a fail story in your eyes. I think it has been a good story so far myself to be honest. That is my opinion though if that counts for anything.
***
The group was asleep around the campfire. A small, fuzzy animal with moth-like wings scampered over a tree like a squirrel, then suddenly took flight, vanishing into the night.
***
“How much farther do we have to go, old cow?” Benny asked.
“Quite a way. The ravine where the ship docks is some distance away from here.”
“Tell me, furball,” Rukh said, smirking, “are the people of this sky city rich?”
The minotaur knew better than to say anything to the thief. Eventually the rogue stopped paying attention to Krunch and started staring at Rin like a hawk watching a mouse. Cale, of course, noticed, and deliberately moved between the two other elves, shooting a nasty glare at Rukh over his shoulder momentarily. He then turned to Rin and smiled at her as though absolutely nothing had happened.
Richard walked over to Cale and whispered, “Can we keep him? I like this fellow’s attitude.”
Eventually they came to a cliff. A murmur of awe ran through the party as they stared at the great rift before them. Orange stone walls dropped down to a river, distant, sparkling at the bottom.
“It is here that we wait,” Krunch stated, “I know someone of the Ancienthoof tribe who works on one of the flying ships.”
“How come I’ve never heard of a flying ship?” Richard asked.
“They be unique to sky city, really,” Pella said, knowingly.
“How do you know so much about the sky city?” Cale inquired, blinking.
“I once knew a mage, named Gwen, from sky city.”
The elf glanced to the side. Rukh had slowly managed to move Rin a little ways from the group and was attempting to charm the lady, grinning in that self-confident, mischievous way of his. It irritated Cale to no end. He frowned and glared at the cocky rogue. He walked over and forced himself to be polite as he requested to speak to the shadowy elf away from the rest of the group. After leading him a short distance away, Cale turned to the man, no longer bothering to hide the stern and somewhat angry look on his face.
“Look, rogue,” he said, prodding Rukh rather violently in the chest, “I don’t know what you’re up to, but you’d better not lay a hand on her, or I’ll-“
“Or you’ll what?” the white-haired elf interrupted, putting a hand on a dagger with a nasty grin.
“I’ll… I’ll… I’ll break your jaw, if you’re lucky. I’ll break more than that if you’re not!” Cale threatened, one fist raised.
“Boys,” Benny yelled, “stop your schoolyard squabbling! The ship’s going to dock!” The two elves glared into each other’s eyes for a moment, before turning toward the priestess. She was pointing into the sky. The sun was low, but not near setting yet. Something that looked like a ship with wings was slowly making its way toward the ravine.
“Those two do not get along,” Rintasha muttered.
“And I suspect you have something to do with it,” Benny replied with a smirk.
The group was asleep around the campfire. A small, fuzzy animal with moth-like wings scampered over a tree like a squirrel, then suddenly took flight, vanishing into the night.
***
“How much farther do we have to go, old cow?” Benny asked.
“Quite a way. The ravine where the ship docks is some distance away from here.”
“Tell me, furball,” Rukh said, smirking, “are the people of this sky city rich?”
The minotaur knew better than to say anything to the thief. Eventually the rogue stopped paying attention to Krunch and started staring at Rin like a hawk watching a mouse. Cale, of course, noticed, and deliberately moved between the two other elves, shooting a nasty glare at Rukh over his shoulder momentarily. He then turned to Rin and smiled at her as though absolutely nothing had happened.
Richard walked over to Cale and whispered, “Can we keep him? I like this fellow’s attitude.”
Eventually they came to a cliff. A murmur of awe ran through the party as they stared at the great rift before them. Orange stone walls dropped down to a river, distant, sparkling at the bottom.
“It is here that we wait,” Krunch stated, “I know someone of the Ancienthoof tribe who works on one of the flying ships.”
“How come I’ve never heard of a flying ship?” Richard asked.
“They be unique to sky city, really,” Pella said, knowingly.
“How do you know so much about the sky city?” Cale inquired, blinking.
“I once knew a mage, named Gwen, from sky city.”
The elf glanced to the side. Rukh had slowly managed to move Rin a little ways from the group and was attempting to charm the lady, grinning in that self-confident, mischievous way of his. It irritated Cale to no end. He frowned and glared at the cocky rogue. He walked over and forced himself to be polite as he requested to speak to the shadowy elf away from the rest of the group. After leading him a short distance away, Cale turned to the man, no longer bothering to hide the stern and somewhat angry look on his face.
“Look, rogue,” he said, prodding Rukh rather violently in the chest, “I don’t know what you’re up to, but you’d better not lay a hand on her, or I’ll-“
“Or you’ll what?” the white-haired elf interrupted, putting a hand on a dagger with a nasty grin.
“I’ll… I’ll… I’ll break your jaw, if you’re lucky. I’ll break more than that if you’re not!” Cale threatened, one fist raised.
“Boys,” Benny yelled, “stop your schoolyard squabbling! The ship’s going to dock!” The two elves glared into each other’s eyes for a moment, before turning toward the priestess. She was pointing into the sky. The sun was low, but not near setting yet. Something that looked like a ship with wings was slowly making its way toward the ravine.
“Those two do not get along,” Rintasha muttered.
“And I suspect you have something to do with it,” Benny replied with a smirk.
QUOTE (Jowy @ May 7 2009, 05:15 PM)
Heh, had to throw this in, I noticed no comments about my pics from the RL pic thread I linked, is it really as bad as I think it is lol? Or did you guys even have a look yet?
I have no opinion.
It was just "oh, that's what he looks like. *shrug* Alright. *doesn't give a second thought, good or bad*"
Hah, I sense a lot more trouble between those two in the near future.
QUOTE (Jowy @ May 7 2009, 05:56 PM)
Hah, I sense a lot more trouble between those two in the near future.
^Understatement of the century.
Reccomended music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0X2tsZ8N94
~~~~~
The ship pulled in and stopped, floating in midair in the ravine. It was unlike any ocean-going ship any of them had ever seen. It had the same basic build, but on the deck there were no sails, only massive gears and pulleys and complicated machinery. From the sides of the ship, two massive wings protruded, webbed like bat wings, made from teal cloth stretched out over the orangey wood struts. The ship was very, very large.
“How do we get on it?!” Benny asked, pointing out that the ship was in the middle of the ravine, the wings too long to allow it to get too close to the edges. Her question was answered when a board in the side of the ship extended to the full length of the wing and onto the rocky cliff edge; somehow the plank, longer than the width of the ship itself, had magically been stored inside.
“Hail!” Krunch yelled, waving to another minotaur on the ship. It waved back and approached along the plank with a sure-footedness that even Rin would not have had over that canyon. The minotaur was a female, but she was still larger than any member of the group besides Krunch. She was cream-colored with red-brown spots. Her mane and horns were black, and she kept the longer hair in the front in two short, thick braids. She was dressed in leather apparently made from reptile skins.
“Hail, friend. It has been a long time,” she said, hands clasped behind her back. She stood straighter than Krunch, and was less muscular, but still not exactly feminine in form. Yet, her gender was still clear, which was more than Cale could honestly say.
Richard elbowed the elf in the ribs. “She’s more masculine than you are.”
“Shut up,” Cale replied, glaring sideways at the warlock.
Krunch talked to the female minotaur about traveling on her ship, and she agreed with little resistance, unlike Tah’vraay. She even offered to take them in for free, but Cale insisted on paying her. She led them along the plank, hands clasped behind her back as she swaggered along the narrow piece of wood, giving the advice to “just don’t look down”.
“Thank you, good lady, for taking us on your… err… sky… ship… thing…” Cale said.
“Welcome aboard the Cloud Skipper. I’m Sky-Captain Calblanka Ancienthoof. Don’t mind the purple draktor over there, he’s our mascot Mahkah.” The large draktor she mentioned was lying lazily on the upper deck, tail flicking, head raised, eyes partially closed.
“My name is Cale’anon Vatay. Pleased to meet you,” Cale said with a bow, “but if I may ask, do you just… fly back and forth between the ravine and the city?”
“Of course not!” the Sky-Captain replied with a laugh, “The mages keep scrying orbs. They saw that someone was waiting, and sent a sky ship down.”
“I’m Richard,” the warlock said, in a failed attempt to intimidate the minotaur.
Rintasha, Pella, and Benny introduced themselves, but Rukh said nothing.
“That’s Rukh,” Cale said, pointing to the rogue, “keep an eye on him.”
“Shut your face,” the thief quipped.
Mages moved around on the deck, comprising about half the crew. Wizards of various races channeled spells into an assortment of devices. Some crew members tended to the adjustment of the wings, others turned large gear-wheels. Cogs and other contraptions spun and clicked and whirred on the flying machine’s deck. Cale couldn’t decide if the whole thing was a marvel of engineering or magic, or both. Slowly, the wings started to flap, and the ship set “sail” into the reddening sky.
When picturing the ship, think DaVinci. This is what I meant when I said I had an idea for an original method of transportation.
~~~~~
The ship pulled in and stopped, floating in midair in the ravine. It was unlike any ocean-going ship any of them had ever seen. It had the same basic build, but on the deck there were no sails, only massive gears and pulleys and complicated machinery. From the sides of the ship, two massive wings protruded, webbed like bat wings, made from teal cloth stretched out over the orangey wood struts. The ship was very, very large.
“How do we get on it?!” Benny asked, pointing out that the ship was in the middle of the ravine, the wings too long to allow it to get too close to the edges. Her question was answered when a board in the side of the ship extended to the full length of the wing and onto the rocky cliff edge; somehow the plank, longer than the width of the ship itself, had magically been stored inside.
“Hail!” Krunch yelled, waving to another minotaur on the ship. It waved back and approached along the plank with a sure-footedness that even Rin would not have had over that canyon. The minotaur was a female, but she was still larger than any member of the group besides Krunch. She was cream-colored with red-brown spots. Her mane and horns were black, and she kept the longer hair in the front in two short, thick braids. She was dressed in leather apparently made from reptile skins.
“Hail, friend. It has been a long time,” she said, hands clasped behind her back. She stood straighter than Krunch, and was less muscular, but still not exactly feminine in form. Yet, her gender was still clear, which was more than Cale could honestly say.
Richard elbowed the elf in the ribs. “She’s more masculine than you are.”
“Shut up,” Cale replied, glaring sideways at the warlock.
Krunch talked to the female minotaur about traveling on her ship, and she agreed with little resistance, unlike Tah’vraay. She even offered to take them in for free, but Cale insisted on paying her. She led them along the plank, hands clasped behind her back as she swaggered along the narrow piece of wood, giving the advice to “just don’t look down”.
“Thank you, good lady, for taking us on your… err… sky… ship… thing…” Cale said.
“Welcome aboard the Cloud Skipper. I’m Sky-Captain Calblanka Ancienthoof. Don’t mind the purple draktor over there, he’s our mascot Mahkah.” The large draktor she mentioned was lying lazily on the upper deck, tail flicking, head raised, eyes partially closed.
“My name is Cale’anon Vatay. Pleased to meet you,” Cale said with a bow, “but if I may ask, do you just… fly back and forth between the ravine and the city?”
“Of course not!” the Sky-Captain replied with a laugh, “The mages keep scrying orbs. They saw that someone was waiting, and sent a sky ship down.”
“I’m Richard,” the warlock said, in a failed attempt to intimidate the minotaur.
Rintasha, Pella, and Benny introduced themselves, but Rukh said nothing.
“That’s Rukh,” Cale said, pointing to the rogue, “keep an eye on him.”
“Shut your face,” the thief quipped.
Mages moved around on the deck, comprising about half the crew. Wizards of various races channeled spells into an assortment of devices. Some crew members tended to the adjustment of the wings, others turned large gear-wheels. Cogs and other contraptions spun and clicked and whirred on the flying machine’s deck. Cale couldn’t decide if the whole thing was a marvel of engineering or magic, or both. Slowly, the wings started to flap, and the ship set “sail” into the reddening sky.
When picturing the ship, think DaVinci. This is what I meant when I said I had an idea for an original method of transportation.
Oi, I just revised the last post of my story adding the corrections you pointed out and it took away my will to write at the moment. However reading your story about Mages this and Mages that makes me want to based on Xzistance, it is the question of which side do I want to go with >.<
The sky was cloudy, but not blanketed by the clouds. The ship's wings flapped slowly, propelling the magic flying ship through the sky, higher and higher, into the clouds. It was quite a strange sight, seeing the sun setting on a plain of clouds. They were illuminated with pinks and golds. Cale leaned on the railing at the edge of the ship, looking around in awe.
“This is so surreal! And so beautiful!” He glanced at Rin, who was at his side. “Of course, I’ve seen prettier things,” he said, loudly enough for Rukh to hear him. At the conscious level, he was still in denial, but subconsciously, he wanted the rogue to know that the lady elf was his, and no thief, no matter how dashing, would steal her.
The rogue glanced down at his hip and partially drew the dagger from its sheath, contemplating the idea of assassinating Cale. No, no, that would get him kicked from the group… Though he could always make it look like an accident… No, the cleric was too suspicious. She’d catch on too quickly. No, he couldn’t kill the blond elf. At least not yet. He looked at his rival for a few minutes with a small frown, then turned away, cape swishing around him, and walked down the deck of the ship, examining the machinery that drove the wondrous contraption he now stood upon. He realized suddenly that his cape was on fire. He spun to put it out. Still crouching with one hand on his knee, the other on the ground, he looked around alertly, eyes finally settling on a warlock.
“Do you have a death wish, warlock?” Rukh growled, glaring icily up at Richard, who only laughed. The rogue turned slightly red with anger. He whipped a dagger out of its sheath and threw it at the undead man, lodging the blade firmly in Richard’s chest with a loud thud. The others in the area turned to look at him in confusion. Richard looked down at the blade, pulled it out, and handed it back to Rukh.
“Nice aim,” he said, obviously trying to provoke the thief further.
Cale glared at the rogue mistrustingly, placed his hands lightly on Rintasha’s shoulders, and guided her gently away from the angry, white-haired elf. “Don’t go too near him,” he muttered to Rin, “I don’t trust him.”
“I can take care of myself, Cale,” she sighed. Cale opened his mouth to say something else, but wasn’t sure what else it was he was afraid Rukh would do to Rin, besides hurt her physically. He knew there was something else, but wouldn’t allow himself to figure it out. He shut his mouth and nodded silently.
Finally he replied simply with “Well… still…”
“This is so surreal! And so beautiful!” He glanced at Rin, who was at his side. “Of course, I’ve seen prettier things,” he said, loudly enough for Rukh to hear him. At the conscious level, he was still in denial, but subconsciously, he wanted the rogue to know that the lady elf was his, and no thief, no matter how dashing, would steal her.
The rogue glanced down at his hip and partially drew the dagger from its sheath, contemplating the idea of assassinating Cale. No, no, that would get him kicked from the group… Though he could always make it look like an accident… No, the cleric was too suspicious. She’d catch on too quickly. No, he couldn’t kill the blond elf. At least not yet. He looked at his rival for a few minutes with a small frown, then turned away, cape swishing around him, and walked down the deck of the ship, examining the machinery that drove the wondrous contraption he now stood upon. He realized suddenly that his cape was on fire. He spun to put it out. Still crouching with one hand on his knee, the other on the ground, he looked around alertly, eyes finally settling on a warlock.
“Do you have a death wish, warlock?” Rukh growled, glaring icily up at Richard, who only laughed. The rogue turned slightly red with anger. He whipped a dagger out of its sheath and threw it at the undead man, lodging the blade firmly in Richard’s chest with a loud thud. The others in the area turned to look at him in confusion. Richard looked down at the blade, pulled it out, and handed it back to Rukh.
“Nice aim,” he said, obviously trying to provoke the thief further.
Cale glared at the rogue mistrustingly, placed his hands lightly on Rintasha’s shoulders, and guided her gently away from the angry, white-haired elf. “Don’t go too near him,” he muttered to Rin, “I don’t trust him.”
“I can take care of myself, Cale,” she sighed. Cale opened his mouth to say something else, but wasn’t sure what else it was he was afraid Rukh would do to Rin, besides hurt her physically. He knew there was something else, but wouldn’t allow himself to figure it out. He shut his mouth and nodded silently.
Finally he replied simply with “Well… still…”
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