Jealous much!?
I was just doing my thang, surfing the net, and I got this banner:



That's right. I've won
-100,000 dollars
-a 2 person 5 week vacation in the cayman islands
-an ipod
-a ps4 (I didnt know they were out yet!)
-a 360
-a Wii
- and a free car.

All I had to do was give them my credit card, its expiration date, and my mother's maiden name!

Best. Day. Ever.

=D

Im sure if you click on on of or new resident spamers links, you will win even more

For some reason whenever I download one of their fine products, my computer ceases to work. I'm sure it's just a problem with my hardware or OS though, after going through my 7th computer Ive now gotten a 900 dollar machine and once Vista comes out I'll try again. They sure are kind to share their products for free, aren't they? I'm glad there's so much goodness in the world. I guess it's all karma, you wouldnt BELIEVE how many Nigerian business men I've helped out.

Oh, such a good samaritian <---(no idea if that is how u spell it and dont care) soylent.
I tip my hat to you and will strive to fallow in your great hoofprints.

I was faced with a similar dilemma recently. Do I accept the bequest of the dead Nigerian prince and live a life of nouveau riche luxury - pampered night and day by sycophants...

Or do I draw a fantasy comic strip. I think I made the right choice.

I give because I love, people. I love you so much I will stab you in the face.

Later

...You couldnt do both? Dead Nigerian princes are jerks, kthxbai

There are alot of dead nigerian princes...and little old ladies in Britain who are about to die.

You should see the number of those we get as "news" for stratics *cackles*

Awww.... don't get so mushy Lar, I think I might start to cry.

You have commitment problems, Lar. You gotta just stab one person in the face at a time out of love. I mean, I'm all for freaky and sordid sexual encounters between inappropriate people but face stabbing, that's an institution we need to protect.

This has gotta be the funniest thing I've read in weeks. You should meet my buddy, Lance. He's the poster boy for commitment problems!

No stabbie love for you!

Thats what she said.

Also the guys down at the prison.

Nobody wants me to be their one and only.

Hey, nation "thats what she said day" was on the 15, your a few days late soylent.

Still, i think you may actually be right in this case

that so doesnt beat national speak like a pirate day, i can never remember the date though

If you were a pirate you'd do what you like.

Talk like a pirate day is Sep. 19th.

And Ninja Day is Dec. 5th.

CHOOSE AMERICA!!! PIRATES OR NINJAS?!?!

well pirates have an advantage on water, and since a majority of our fair planet is covered by water, statistically, pirates win.

why are they so awesome?

they just "argh!"

A shiny new mule to whomever brings me the head of this man. Some puns should not be.

A new mule? If I'm gonna win, I better get AHEAD!

roffle my waffle.

Know pun intended, I'm sure.

Edit: Didn't see that one comin', did ya chief?

Ignorant fool! Pirates may have the advantage on water, but ninjas have the advantage on EVERYWHERE!!!

Staistically speaking, the entire universe is filled to the brim with everywhere (and a little bit of nowhere too), therefor the ninjas conquer!!

I dunno, I kinda liked it

And of course by that you mean it's time for the worker of the week award?

It was all a big setup. I knew that once I forbade bad puns, someone was sure to make one. Then I could whip out my favourite, know pun intended.

I am a devious little stoat.

Why is the mule....shiny? That just doesn't seem right.

Because it's new, hobviously. Still has that fresh new mule smell, too.

the smell of hamster shavings and deep-fried police donuts?


Wow, that did NOT come out right at ALL

ya know wut funny ya know those add were u have to shoot 5 cans or squish the spider or something like that? the other day i found one that i couldnt beat! i had to shoot 10 ducks hats off...well every time u hit one the speed would double.....by the eightth one i couldnt even see them anymore!...on well i guess ill just have to win a ipod video somewhere else....their loss

OH MY GOD! You just killed the english language!

It was only 5 days from retirement....

Soy you forgot to capitalize English

Anyways I say we have a moment of silence.

*Bows head*

Come on, people have been killing english for centuries. He just put it out of its misery. And its not like silence is going to bring it back. So i say that we all start talking, jolting it back to life and start another hundredyears of torture.

Didn't you read my subtext? English is dead now, forget capitalization. It's Esperanto all the way now.

...actually I never thought of that. When theres the little green things under a sentance, you guys know what that is; right?

Que?

You hover your mouse over it and a yellow box appears.... like magic

...

I never knew that... Amazing!

G.N.O.M.E.S

I don't like to be all ostentatious about it, because I'm not a jerk like some people.


Don't get me wrong, I'm a jerk. Just not like some people.

Just because it's not physical... doesn't mean it's not abuse.

Emotional abuse is the best kind. It lasts so much longer.

Plus the scars are less incriminating.

Only downfall is rubbing salt in them doesn't illicit the same screams.

It does when you rub it in their eyes.

Where else would I be rubbing it? There open wounds?

But...but... the English language can't fight back!

I would edit to correct my mistake, but the suffering is too enjoyable.

*facepalm*

As an English freak, i feel tempted to hack the boards and correct the mistakes

But this thread is just too damn funny. Viva le English torture! (I feel middle-ages french. guillotine ftw!)

haha the English freak forgot to capitalize their I...

Sorry had to point it out, hate me later Hippo.

Dude... thats totally my line...

I know, but it was such a good line, and it needed to be said.

It would also be acceptable to see Samuel L. M.F. Jackson punch a hippo out. That is, if he can't punch out a land-sealion.