Okay, just got home from an 18 hour game. I'm pretty new at this (D20 modern and World of Darkness is my forte), so I thought I'd play an easy character who won't get in too deep. So I chose a halfling rogue. She's 2'5" and chaotic neutral.

We had a newcomer in our Geek-o-sphere who decided to be a cleric. He had a spell that could turn me twice my size. So he did.

My friend Alex is a bard and he gets on my nerves a lot (his character has 8 wisdom.) and decided to pick a fight... so we had an unarmed brawl.

I get 1st initiative. With two punches, I do 6 damage.

His turn.

Attempts to freeze me.

Attack of opportunity!

I punch him, he breaks concentration, loses the spell, get 3 damage. My turn again!

I roll a 20. deals 12 damage.

He tries to freeze me again. Another opportunity, but he doesn't break concentration.

I roll another 20 and resist the spell.

By this time, I've taken a quarter of his HP and he gives.

To sum it up, a bard got the crap beaten out of him by a halfling girl.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Anyone have any awesome D&D stories, post so we can laugh at the epic fails and wins.

That's pretty classic. Not too long ago I was playing a chaotic neutral, Half-giant psychic warrior with a long sword about six feet long. He uses a power that makes him triple in size and his sword too as long as he holds it. I go to attack the monster and roll a one and drop my sword. When I pick it back up I miss the next three attacks and it gets killed by another player before I even get the chance to do anything to it. That was one of my biggest fails with DnD ever.

Well, I've got almost too many stories to tell in one sitting, so I'll space them out throughout, lol. My first one has to do with a Ranger vs an Ancient Red Dragon. Our party had gotten pretty well annihilated by its breath weapon (we were only level 12, but we thought it would be a weaker dragon so we pushed our luck) and there was only myself and a wizard who immediately telaported away to safety.
So when my turn comes around I have a choice of attacking the dragon, which probably won't work since we haven't even hit it yet, so I make a desperate effort and attempt to INTIMIDATE the dragon...and roll a nat 20 on my check. Now, in our group, nat 20's automatically succeed at whatever you're trying to do. So instantly the dragon sits down and listens to my ultimatum that I'll destroy it if it doesn't leave immediately, and so it does...leaving me with an entire cave full of red dragon treasure.

That day I was one happy ranger. Though I wasn't ever allowed to play one again due to that.

So your saying your DM made you never play a ranger again...because of luck?

Pretty much. Any time you screwed that DM over through luck or just by knowing your class better than he did he would always get a little upset and never allow you to play that class again...at least until you managed to do the same thing with a different one. At one point my list of classes I COULD play was down to a Rogue, mainly because I hadn't played them yet. One game into the next campaign he ran, I made a huge bluff check and got a dukedom given to me by saying I was the mayor of a small elven village (I was a gnome) and had somehow misplaced the deed. After that I was able to play any class and he pretty much gave up DM-ing. Which is now I mainly do that stuff.

One time when my friend was DM-ing he jailed a paladin. The kid was really annoying and nobody liked him. He was also very stupid. He charged up stairs into a royal manor that was recently robbed and he had come in through the secret entrance that the thieves also used. And he also had his sword drawn. Me and my friend looked at each other and left the basement area for him to get caught by himself.

I played D&D once, I played a a typical dumb warrior. One guy tried to have his character trick mine into eating a bag of poo, he lost the roll (it was a persuasion roll I think, forgot what it was called) then I made an intimidation roll and intimidated his character into eating it instead.

I rolled a monk in the Hackmaster system once. between all his abilities and lucky rolls, he was almost invincible in the Dungeon (Held off 4 hell hounds to allow the rest of the party to escape with the wounded and lived). It kept ticking off my DM, so he sent a Wyvern to attack us in the open. The thing spent most of it's time trying to kill my monk, while the monk could do nothing to it...out of range of mere throwing stars. I guess he did get to play the part of target dummy to help spare the rest of the group, but man is sucks not being able to counter attack.

It also really sucks when the DM puts you in situations specifically meant to kill off your character. In my opinion (granted, our DM asked me not to play certain classes due to luck) that's just poor planning. There could always be a situation where your monk might give his life for the rest of the party without it seeming like the DM was out to get you.

None in my games, but I have heard stories...of group trying to open a door in a crypt and clean up the room so nothing can sneak up on them while they proceed. The rogue rolls a 1 and jams the lock.

Now, while an averagely intelligent person understands that there's no way something would bother to un-jam a lock if they're not aware of your presence on the other side of the door, they decided to knock it down. Well, if the brawn dude's smashing and crashing didn't alert and aggravate the entities of the other side of that door, I don't know what could...

This story is told in a much better way by the guy who told it to me.

Had a great ShadowRun campaign that I had joined in on that my DM (foolishly) decided to allow me to put as many stats into charisma as I possibly could. Being a mechanic I was able to pass off any shoddy piece of equipment I made as the greatest thing since sliced bread. So we're in a gigantic battle with some odd lookin' lizardy frog people (no clue what they were) and everyone's weapons are firing blanks...whoops? So I stroll through the laser fire (rolling lucky nat 20's the entire way) and make it up to the Supreme Commander of these...lizard frog people. I politely ask him "Hey...can you guys like...uhm...not fight us and just let us kill you?" And he just croaks and gives an "a'ok".

Easiest, luckiest, most epic win ever. I was banned from that character after that.

I have a DM I play with sometimes who forbids me from using this one d20 all because it gets a ridiculous amount of nat 20's with it. At first he thought I was cheating but after continuously rolling it right in front of his face he decided it was possessed and forbid it. Though that didn't matter much when I made a level ten knight who could hit pretty much anything he could throw at us without being just plain unfair with a seven.

my Dm has some good stories

he has a level 15-23 lv. tighter thief (it was a long time ago and ge couden't remember) and his friend dared him to punch thor (norse god of lightning) with his bare hand. He rolls a 20 and knocks him out.
__________________________________next story___________________________________________
His friend was a mage and the mage got in a bar fight, cast a power bolt that went through the man, 4 walls, and a horse before stoping.
________________________________________________________________________________________
He had a dwarve thief that got hit with lighing traps 5 times in a row so it made him immune to lighning attacks for life, but he had frizzy hair the rest of his life.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
In a very ,very werd game, (spelljaming) he managed to get a 50 cal. gun from a aircraft carrier on his ship and was in a battle in the flagetion. the dm thought he had him because h coudn't use it in the flow but he used it to make a hyper drive get away


________________________________my story__________________________

My friend walked up to a guy as a thief with a ring of invisability, he had a special sword that doubled his back stab attack. he rolled a 20 on his attack and ended up doing 64 points of damage with his backstab.

Defeated a trio of troll berserkers using only my level 3 priest, a bottle of whiskey, and one "produce flame" spell. (GLEE)

In my spell jamming campain I was comanding a modified wasp and whem i shot both my wepons I got 2 20s and destroyed the hull of a deathspider

I had a half dragon halfing that killed four Frost giants with a cone of cold. It was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard of.

I'll might bring out an epic fail here...
Our low level party had been taking a bigger bite than we could chew by fighting a Hill Giant that was guarding a treasure. But with some major luck we still managed to survive the battle, bringing down the giant, using all of our mages usefull spells, the barbarians rage, what ever we had in our power to beat it! But as we are to collect the well earned reward, out of nowhere, yet and other Hill Giant appears, killing of the entire party before we even had time to act. Man we were mad at our DM after that.

Well, I'm now allowed to play a Ranger again...to quote the DM "ANYTHING just as long as I don't play a wizard again." Seems he was moderately upset about me saving up all my level 9 spells and obliterating his 3 ancient red dragons with imprisionment. I could only cast it twice, but you gotta love spending 100,000 gold on spells and an incense to maximize your attack spells for the day. Meteor swarm just destroyed everything he threw at us.

As for an epic failure...does a level 20 monk botching a reflex save against a level 1 rogues trap count? It didn't do really any damage, but was minorly embarassing when I chased after him and fell face first on the ground due to a trip-wire...stupid monks...

I bet those three red dragons were even more embarassed than your monk was.

We were fighting a White Dragon once, and our wizard casts an enlarged maximized fire ball, I think she was fifteenth level at the time. The dragon makes it's reflex save so it's pretty banged up, but our barbarian who had been fighting the thing head on since we got there doesn't make his and dies a horrible flaming death by the hand of his fellow adventurer. Even my rogue felt kind abad for him after the battle while rifling through his pockets for loot.

I had a fighter with a flail and my friend was a mage. the mage had a spell thet halted a monster from moving but he had to consentrate on it. I rolled a 1 on the attack agenst the halted monster and are dm rolled to see if i hit the mage. AI did and ha amazingly kept consentration . the next attack was a 20 and killed the monster with one hit.

Just got done DMing a game, and had to share my epic fail. I'd had it set up so that the group had to go in during the middle of an epic-ly large battle (500,000 total fighting) and take out three supply depots. I'd made each depot have around 40 soldiers, all between 13 - 15th level since our group was around 17. Since there were 40 of them in each depot, quick math says 120 overall, it should be a good decent amount of fighting and they would have to watch out on the number of spells they used, etc.

No, our Druid just got in range and unleashed earthquakes on all of them. I felt like bashing my head against a wall when the campaign I'd planned to go around 4-5 hours went about 30 minutes. I had to start improvising then, and it ended up being a fun night, but that definitely was an epic failure.

Many moon ago I was playing an elf fighter named Kruz M'zile, who boasted a 19 dex. We were crossing a lake on our way to desecrate a temple and the boat got capsized by some mer-lion thingys. I was the ONLY ONE who failed the dex roll and fell into the water fully loaded down with armour and my pack. On a whim, the DM gave me a chance to save from drowning and I rolled two natural twenties. He then descibed my character doing an amazing triple somersault, opening my pack, pulling out my flask of underwater breathing potion, corking it, stowing it back, sealing my pack and then cleaving the water cleanly in a dive worthy of an Olympic competitor.

It was a lawful/neutral evil group, so they left me to kill the mer-lions myself while they waited on the shore for me to walk the length of the lake and emerge to join them on the opposite side.

Good times

i realy did like this one

me 12th lvl rouge 7th lvl shadow dancer
friends: fighter, bard and druid of the same lvls

obstical: two pit feinds

im a real money hore in dnd so while exploring this abondned castle i had been reliving it of most of its furnishing
eg coubards, chests, beds etc and puting them in my bag of holding

when we go to said masive obstical i just went onto the roof (cloak of the aracknid) and dumbed the contense of my bag of holding onto the feinds
lots of varnished oak falling from 50-70ft = lots of pain
DM almost said that i couldent but after an extended argument between the team and the DM i single handly took out 2 pit feinds

one of my older ones is back in dark sun campaign. Everyone starts as 3rd level, or else you cannot survive the harsh world. Also, all roll for psychic powers.

I happend to get disintegrate on my character, though i needed to roll a 19-20 to use it. If i rolled below 5, i would die horribly.
So really only useful in serious emergencies.

So we are breaking into a tower, to get some loot, and we decide to not kill the guards and crawl in through the second floor window instead.

We enter, and see the local 10th level mage lying sleeping, and just about waking up. So we have 1 free attack. I cast my disintegrate and he vaporizes. Instant ding...



Last week, our evil campaign of lvl 10 and 11 characters, 4 of us, 2 fighters, a mage and a cleric. We decide to double cross our frost giant guide, and attack him. He proceeds to kill both our fighters, and then he goes down. Turns out he was a CL 17 encounter we just got through.



We once had an elf archer, where we ended up taking all the bows from her. Every time we were in battle, she would fumble and hit us in the back. She ended up damaging the party more than the enemies.

Roleplaying is always great fun at my uni, and I have a lot of stories to share, so I'll be back to post more later, but I'll start with a D&D one since thats the topic of the thread (all the best stories have come from other games)

Last term I was playing as a Chaotic Neutral Aasimar Warlock that liked to slit its wrists

You have to think about Aasimars, a Tiefling makes perfect sense, Demons are evil and it makes perfect sense for them be about raping mortals, but an Aasimar (mortal with angelic blood) the Tiefling's opposite is a little harder to work out

Suerly unions between Angels and Mortals are sinful and evil in some way, suerly the meer existance of Aasimar hints that the lighter powers arent as goodly as they'd like you to beleive, but for this character I decided that he would be the exact opposite of everything an Aasimar should be

His grandmother was raped by an angel, he slit his wrists, walked around spouting anti-angel propaganda and when in the last session the rest of the party were bought to the back room of a church to have the plot explained to them, my character spent this time in the church proper arguing with the priests and then had a punch up

He also had a huge bluff skill, some of my favorites were "I am completely and totally trustworthy" (circumstance bonus for being an Aasimar, penalty for having just ridden a giant snake through the front door), and "Actually I'm just a figment of your imagination, I don't exist" (circumstance bonus for having just traumatised the poor fellow with my characters backstory).

Story of Solus the Bard, afflicted by a mysterious curse during a 5th level adventure (Mummy Rot). The group was on a boat heading towards a mysterious island...

Cleric : Pelor shall guide us to good port Solus my friend, have faith!

*DM rolls random even chart*

Cleric : BRACE YOURSELVES MY FRIENDS! This storm looks nasty. Secure yourselves with rope!

*Solus attempts Use rope skill check, Rolls 1D20 : 2+0+3 = 5*

Cleric : Incoming wave! BY PELOR! Solus's bonds were not secure enough!

*Solus attempts reflex save to grab onto rail, Rolls 1D20 : natural 1*

Cleric : He has gone overboard! Pray to pelor that he may keep himself afloat!

*Solus attempts swim skill check, Rolls 1D20 : 6 + 3 -2str -2armor check = 5*

Cleric : Dear lord! He has gone under!

*players attempt a spot check and all fail miserably*

Cleric : Let us hope he does not drown.

*Solus attempts fortitude check at -3 penality due to mummy rot, Rolls 1D20 : 4 +2 -3 = 3. Solus swallows water suffers a -2 to constitution*

Ship captain : Brace for impact! We will hit those rocks!

*DM rolls 5% chance Solus is between rocks and ship, Rolls 1D100 : 04. Allows Solus spot check to avoid getting crushed, Solus rolls 1D20 : 18+8+3 = 29 Success! DM allows a reflex save or swim check to avoid rocks. Solus Rolls 1D20 on reflex save : Natural 1*

*SQUISH*

Cleric : Alas, Solus our friend has left us. At least we have reached this mysterious island's shores and may continue onwards on our most holy quest!

Rogue : Ergh... our most holy quest was to seek out a powerful druid that would have been able to save our friend Solus from his curse...

Cleric : Does that mean we lose the Quest XP?

DM : Yes

Thus ended the adventures of Solus the Bard.

There's one for the names thread! Nice, Lar, nice.

Ok, next story

We were playing a single session campeign of Inquisitor (Warhammer 40k roleplaying system) to test it out

The party was as follows:

1) Myself - A Tech Priest - person who worships technology, I had replaced my natural arms with a chainsword and flame cannon, and had an extra mechanical arm for manipulating stuff
2) The grops Inquisitor - Person within the imperium with the power to do anything, group leader, powerful psycher, wields a demon possessed sword that threatens to take control every time he uses it
3) Vampiric mutant
4) Black Templar Space Marine - Heavily armoured with gun, takes penalties for feeling guilty
5) Sanctioned Psycher - Just very powerful psycher
6) Rouge Trader - Also powerful psycher, and dealer in technology

Our mission - First contact with a new race of Aliens - The Tau Empire

W:40K universe buffs start cringing now, everyone else can start in a few seconds

We started the session in warp, travelling to our destination

For the first action of the game, I decided to make some improvements to the engines mid flight, I screwed up my roll and the energy field turned off allowing demons to flood into the ship
Sirens go off, the space marine is running down a corridor to get to the bridge, and as the second action of the game fails his run check and falls over crushing several guardsmen and adding to his guilt penalty
The Inquisitor decides to send out a psychic message to the party with battle tactics, however fails his roll on this as well and instead sends a message saying "I'm over here"
The rouge trader receives this message, fails his roll to understand it, and because he opened his mind with demons around fails another roll and goes insane for a few minuets
A demon appears in the quarters of the Sanctioned Psycher, out of character she said something along the lines of "oh whatever" and in character offered the demon a cup of tea
Mutant arives as the engine room to find out whats going on, helps me fix the energy field, no more demons can come on to the ship, I got all the credit for fixing it but none for breaking it (Score!)

Eventually the rouge trader settled down and we cleared the demons off the ship, the bridge crew however were dead and none of us could work the ship, so we had no choice but to let the engines break again to get out of warp

We came out over a jungle planet, and took a shuttle to land, where we found a village of savage aliens with spears (Kroot)
Mutant: *holds up hand* "We mean you no harm"
Kroot: *Grab spears and look angry*
Inquisitor: "Tech priest set fire to those huts"
Me: "Gladly"

They ran into the jungle and we chased them

Inquisitor fails his running roll and falls into a pit trap
Space marine fails his running roll and falls in on top of him, further increasing his guilt penalty

Inquisitor: "Tech priest set fire to that jungle and burn them out"
Me: "Gladly"

In the end we gave up and decided to try our luck further down the coast, where we infact find an Ethereal of the Tau Empire who we were sent to make contact with teaching the kroot how to do stuff

Negociations went well despite having to keep his attention away from the smoke comming from further down the coast, and stop the mutant from feeding on the Kroot, and we were lead to a Tau ship to be taken to one of the Tau millitary worlds for further negociations

While on board the Rouge Trader and I began conspiring to steal Tau technology, which we noted was much better than Imperium technology

We got to this millitary world, closely followed by a refugee ship full of Kroot fleeing the fires I had started, and were lead to a Tau throne room

Tau Leader Dude: "Will your race join the Tau Empire?"
Inquisitor: "No, infact we're going to kill you all"

The campeign ended with us being killed by a swarm of Tau ceremonial guards

in my D+D campaigns, when a player finds a potion, they have to identify it, if they wrong, i tell them the name of a random other potion (which depends on the actual potion, and how badly they identified it), this lead to one of their characters being on 4 hp and drinking a flask of alchemist's fire, thinking it was a cure serious wounds....

You're evil.

I like that, I like it!

In a Hackmaster campaign, we had a low level ranger in our group who refused to eat anything he did not catch. So one day he took role playing to the extreme and spent over an hour RL time trying to catch a chicken for dinner. This took place in the middle of a city while the rest of us were getting our gear for the next excursion. It annoyed me at the time, but looking back on it, I think it was kinda funny.

Another thing that happened with my group is that they wanted to create a party with 5 paladins in it, i said yes. THe party was going well until about lvl 15 where they went against a Balor, it rolled 4 natural 20's with its vorpal Greatsword.....
The last member ran, only to be killed by a smaller demon as it was leaving...

I recall playing D&D once with a couple of friends which then progressed to my character receiving the weapon "Molotov Cocktail". Nothing like throwing a cocktail into a room before I take the plunge.

I had a campain were we had a battle that lasted 3 hours when it was supposed to be 30 min. because everybody kept missing the bow shots. then finally We started geting hits on them.

In a D&D campaign, my group was roughly level 3 (2 fighters, a mage, and me the thief/priest).

For back story, the fighter and mage's fathers were kidnapped by a cult of women. The hired on the second fighter to help them...and because I was late they stumbled upon me on the way. Anyway, we followed their tracks to a cave between them and their hide out.

We eventually found an amulet(through a Pouch of Random things or something) and somehow found a portal. Anyway, we were all dragged into it and for giving 3 sirens(former leaders of the cult, who were betrayed and killed) granted each of us a Wish.

Needless to say there was a long pause since none of us had expected that as a reward...And somehow I got pushed into being first so everyone else could try and word theirs properly.

So, my thief/priest is fairly non-violent. And by non-violent, I mean he just ties up anyone who tries to hit him(and he's damn good at it too) so I, without trying to word it at all properly and asked for a "Lasso of Truth" (yes, wonder woman's lasso, I had nothing better in my mind at the time) and got a lasso that forced me to tell the truth.
Next came the dwarven fighter, who asked for a Belt of Titan Strength...it was for a child titan that gave him 19 strength and was more like a bandoleer then a belt.
After that was the mage, who has MUCH better luck then the two previous characters. He asked for arcane knowledge...which at the time seemed like a horrible idea, but proved for the moment that was cool. Anyway he collapsed to the ground grabbing at his head due to all the forced stuff into his mind. We fondly referred to it as "Cauthon's disease" (see Wheel of Time series to understand that one).
Last was the fighter, who had the most time to find a way not to get screwed over by the Wish spell, he asked to get out of their realm(since we didn't know where the heck we were) and to know where his father was.

After getting out of that, we continued on to where they were being held. They had a small fortress filled with many, so we decided to split up and hope no one died(seeing as we weren't about to kill women, which made it difficult to do alot). So the dwarf fighter and the gnome thief/priest were running the distraction while the human's had to sneak inside. Long story short, dwarf punched little girls and knocked them out cold, gnome ran like a scared little thing, dodged a fireball when he cast his only spell, which was Obscurement, which in turned killed his perusers, the human fighter found the fathers and the mage, when seeing that all their spellcasters were about to get off the 2nd and 3rd floors and kill them threw a spell his new-found mind had.
Samuels Enhanced Fireball, that had only been cast in the world 4 times before, and forgotten due to its sheer power. Needless to say, it level the building...killing more then we could count(which we didn't even want to try, too saddened by the fact we did kill them) and we moved the survivors and the fathers back home, just made it seem worse by the fact we looked like slavers due to what they were wearing.

Many summers ago I was playing D&D with a good group of friends. During that time I had this nasty habit of wanting to try many things, so I asked to be a wizard, cleric, warrior, magic user/ fighter, etc... The DM got frustrated at me and just kept screwing me over. It was hilarious on how he did things so I didn't mind.

Some things he did was every time we where at a door it was always explosive, open it and BOOM! Huge bang. So everytime we had to go threw a room we were scared shitless to go threw the door... considering the DM made the damage 3 d20 -.- So we just threw stuff at the door until it opened or if the DM forgot to make it explode. The first time we ever encountered this was when we where doing the Unicorn saving quest thing, our ol trusty warrior decided to just barg threw the door. This is how it went.


DM: You see an old wooden door in front of you, your intelligence [warrior] indicates that soft wood go bye bye with smash.

Warrior: Alrighty I charge the door

DM: Roll a 20

Warrior: -Rolls a 16-

DM: As the first part of you touches the door it explodes sending you back to the village in nothing but your metallic armor, your hair is sticking upwards and covered in black ash as well as your entire body. You lean up and try to speak and only smoke rings come out.



Another part of our adventure is when my GM has had it with me, you see we where just walking down a road to a nearby castle for treasure and the such. When I asked to be a human (I was an elf at the time) events happned as such.

DM: Thats it, screw it! You are now a small halfling female as a wizard! And your right breast gives off wine and your other chocolate milk! You will stay this way until you stop asking for a damn dragon and asking for changes!

Me: Oh noes! I have to flick my wrist to cast spells and pause the adventure to have my period! OH NOES!

-Much giggling from party-


And so after we walked across the road and saw the castle we decided to camp out to rest and prepare.

DM: Alright you guys have set up camp near the castle, what are you doing [warrior]?

Warrior: I am cleaning and sharping my weapons.

DM: Okay, [cleric] ?

Cleric: I am gathering my scrolls, studying my magic and practicing it as well.

DM: Alright Zoran, what are you doing.

Me: I am sucking on my titty for wine.

we had just fought our way through the field of chord,a field where there is an endless battle raging because the victor of the battle (there would never be a victor note ENDLESS battle)would gain immorality,and had reached a caste.guarding the entrance to this caste was a group of undead warriors (22 of them,2 leaders and 20 lesser ones).we were not allowed to enter the castle until they had been defeated.long story short,i,being a lvl 9 gnome sorcerer,destroyed all 20 minions with 1 fireball.little did we know,they would respawn at the end of every round as long as the leaders were alive.luckily they respawned all right in a line,i had 1st init,and they < fireball ,so i killed 20 enemies each round for 4 rounds in a row.now the rest of the party had to fight 2 warriors instead of 22.later,we were able to enter the treasury,and we were able to choose any magical item we wanted.i chose Dyrr's impervious vestment,which gives +9 to AC,so i was now a level 9 sorcerer with 25 AC and no spell failure chance.

Heh... too many to count. But my brief favorites...

My party in a one-shot is being out-fought by the caravan we attacked. I had the *rolls eyes* BRILLIANT idea, panic driven, to shout (in game), "Hey, invisible guys, get them!" as a bluff to either distract them, or frighten them. Every player stops talking, and just stares at me for about 20 seconds, my face growing hotter and hotter as I realize just what I said, and how I said it. Lol... EPIC fail. XD

My level 14... we'll go with "rogue", as his situation is too damned complex to describe without a ten-minute post itself... was being tested for membership into the assassins guild, and to gain the "assassin" prestige class. My DM is the best I have ever met, or even heard of, and the test is awesome and epic, full or puzzles, riddles, fights, and a chess game. We actually played, me and the DM. This was one of the first parts of the test, and the DM set up a timer... every 15 minutes, the next "applicant" would come in the door behind me, someone roughly equivalent to me in power and Challenge Rating - real battles. This was a great set-up, and my DM is not the kind to go easy - he sets stuff up, and we succeed or fail with no divine intervention. If I fail these tests, I will NOT get my prestige class, and my story will round a different bend. However, I wind up with all the time I will ever need to make it through all the remaining tests, thanks to the chess game... which I won in 3 moves. Lol. EPIC win.

Same character, same occasion, in the waiting room for the tests... about 300 people are in there, every one of them as murderous, strong, and self-centered as my own character. To psych them out, when it is my turn to go into the testing area, I roll a "move silently" check, as well as an acrobatics, to glide across the floor and make less sound than falling dust. I wanted to actually impress these others by barely seeming to exist, or some such. I rolled two 1s, one for each check... critical failure. I *CLANK* with my first step so loudly that every head turns right towards me, and everyone quiets. The absolute center of attention, I think quickly, and roll a bluff check to go with it, and be brash, brazen, and bold, as if to say "you are all beneath my notice, I am here, look at ME! Peons." I roll a natural 20... I pull it off and every other applicant is suitably impressed. (BTW - all 3 of those rolls, my bonus was over 30, so it SHOULD have been easy. XD... yeah, right.) Lol... EPIC... bit of column A, bit of column B.

-Me

My first character after not playing D&D for 8 years was a 4th lvl Elf Druid... Her name was Vanae, and she almost died the death of rabbit stew.

My boyfriend at the time was the ranger of our party.... Lawful Good alignment, everything........ But they had recently drawn from the deck of many things, and he'd pulled the one for complete alignment shift.... which I didn't know about, even out of character.

We're going out to smoke one night after a successful looti-I mean selling precious books for loads of cash, and he asks me if my character can turn into animals. I of course say yes, that she can turn into a lot of normal animals. He asks me if she can turn into a rabbit, and I say yes, of course.

He tells me to tell the DM that. I was fairly tired at the time, so I did. Our half orc barbarian immediately swings at her and crits. She's down to 1 hp and changes back into herself. The DM calls me over and sends the other two out.

DM: Do you like this character?
Me: Uh huh, why?
DM: Do you want to save her?
Me: Of course, I'd like to play her again if I can.
DM: Okay


So the other two come back in and the barbarian rolls to hit and crits again. However, just before he hit me the DM told me to activate her armor and she gets sent back to her grove just before the axe hits.


Talk about epic fail there...

No D&D stories, but I do have a pretty epic fail from a World of Darkness gaming session.

Three of my group are tasked with breaking into an office to search for info & such. Not one of us noticed the silent alarm we tripped on the way in, and I doubt we would have cared if we had, cocky SOBs that we were playing at the time
We were happily going through the office, one person at the computer poking away at it, when some private security goons show up. Our desk person grabs first init, and proceeds to throw the monitor of the computer at the security goons. It's pretty easy to dodge (monitors are BIG afterall), but one poor sod botches his dodge roll and walks right into the thrown monitor, breaking the glass on the front and ending up with the monitor stuck on his head. That was funny at the time, but what got epic was the fact that this one guard botched EVERY ROLL after that. While the rest of us were having a good ol' 10 minute brawl, this poor sap kept trying, and FAILING to take the damned monitor off his head, and stumbling around the office getting hit kicked, punched, tripped and walking into walls.
After kicking the crap outta the other guards, we were all hightailing it outta there when the guard finally succeeds in taking the monitor off his head, sees us running out and goes to chase after us........ only to botch ANOTHER roll, trip over the monitor's power cord, and end up with his head stuck back in the monitor AGAIN
At that point we had to call the session because we all had headaches from laughing at that poor idiot too much x.x