Everyone knows that because fossil fuels are running our, and eventually the entire human race will live off alternate sources of energy. There are of course obvious sources, like wind and water, but what can you think of?

P.S. Try and beat a cat duct taped to a piece of buttered bread (because neither can touch the ground, they will continually rotate)

I won't use google any´more until it changes its background to black. That would save lots of energy

cold fusion reactor

Pure unadulterated hate.

Or lust, if you could actually funnel it into a power coupler, but hate is easier to direct.

Disproven. Nuclear energy, solar energy, or you could just use the heat continually coming off my body

Grym, heat is waste energy. That's about as useful as a large, steaming pile of...

Besides, everyone knows that the secret lies in all the Emo Kids! I mean, why else are there so many of them in our time of need? There's gotta be some way to harness all of those mopy suicidal thoughts into energy...

I have an idea, but I think they don't wanna die that way

Objection: they already wanted to die in the first place, why would it matter how they died?

Because, apparently the cutting lets out their sorrows or something. It doesn't matter to us, but to them, unfortunately.

But we could burn the tellytubbies corpses

Or, unmask every childhood favorite masked creature at the same time and harness all the shock the children feel at the betrayal of their trust. Especially if there was a guy in Minnie the Mouse's suit.

Heh, that's evil. And funny.

Though I didn't lie about the tellytubbies deaths. Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala HEY!

I got another idea. Ye know these wheels ye put hamsters in? Connect an oversized onewith a turbine 'n put a hyperactive dog in it.

Use a virus to kill off all but ten thousand innoculated followers.

There. Crysis gone.

You do realize why we're in Iraq?

New idea: Not to vote Bush next year. Should be easy enough, unless he cheats (again) since he isn't alowed to candidate anymore

Don't say no immediately...this idea might seem a leeetle bit strange. Mull it over first. OK, here's my suggestion: sacrificing humans to a Sun God which has an unpronouncable name that lacks vowels. Who knows? It might work. Stranger things have happened.

Skinny emos continually being kicked by Stephen Segal.

But you can use heat to make steam which drives propellers.

and here's an idea: We can get all our energy from volcanoes!

And when they erupt we can be plunged into a new dark age!

And then there will be no need for energy! Brilliance!

Did ya know that all movement you make uses non-renewable energy that will slowly leads the universe closer to destruction?

Did you know that leading the world to destruction is actually something that some us strive for?

Well, we know someone who does...

*Looks at avatar*

I came up with a way to solve this dillema!

Give the morbidly obese Free Liposuction, and use the fat as fuel. Voila! Two epidemics solved at once!

*kek* XD That made me lol >.>

If we could somehow harness the pure evil from cats all over the world and turn it into energy... we'd be set >.> My cat could power at least five hundred cities with her evilness.

Squirels.

Squirels with little spinny wheels and peanuts connected to many small generators.

All the squirels of the world combined will save us and we save ourselves of the squirel oppression and tyranny.

Harness the pure energy in one of Chuck Norris' roundhous kicks and you can power all appliances in the world through a 200 year nuclear winter.

*kek* XD

So's light, but I don't see you closing your eyes.

What about energy from waste? Just take all the elderly and deprive them of their beano. Hook them up to machines and wallah, you get living methane batteries.

Yea, and there's more of the rent left that ye can heir

Sigh...

Okay...

In seriousness... here's how you deal with our little energy problem.

First, realize the energy we need: Electrical power, mechanical power, and thermal power. You get all three from electrical generators and from fuels.

Second, minimalize the need for fuels as much as possible. Again... MINIMALIZE... THE... NEED. Not ban. There will always be a need for fuels as transportable energy, as well as thermal industrial manufacturing. But if you can transfer that need from a fuel to rechargable electrical battery storage you go a long way towards solving America's energy problem. Electricity is electricity is electricity. The electrons generated in a hydroelectric plant are the same as the electrons froma solar cell.

Third, convert our electrical generation from hydrocarbons to non carbon systems. The biggest and most immediate is nuclear. It is proven technology that can be implemented immediately. And please, don't bring up Chernobyl and Three mile island. It's been thirty years and not even the slightest blip in their safety record. More people in America died of dam failures than from nuclear incidents. However, solar, wind, and geothermal power must be explored as well. Phase out oil and coal power generation unless the coal industry can prove carbon capturing and sequestering is viable. And guess what folks... it's going to have to be paid with a carbon tax. Suck it up. If you want to fix the problem you're going to have to pay for it.

Fourth, efficiency efficiency efficiency. As we get more and more away from fuels to electrical systems, we need to invest in getting the most bang for our buck. That means better battery storage and recharge values for our cars. That means more efficient means of power conduction from plant to user. That means more efficient appliances. And that means the government putting down a carbon tax. Appliances, cars, and other power use sources above an efficiency benchmark don't have to pay. Those that fall below it do have to pay a higher tax percentage than those above it. The idea is to compel the consumer to prioritize efficiency higher than economic gratification. Of course there will always be people buying big cars that they don't need. They can have them too... for a higher price. As for working SUV's, tax exemption for rural zip codes can ease that burden on individuals living outside cities.

Five, give the technology to china and india. These are the next Americas economically. The amount of power they are going to consume in the future will make ours pale in comparison. The cost of charity will be regained far more in the form of gratitude and lessened environmental impact. And to encourage implementation, carbon taxes on their goods and service (IE, a 5 cent tax on all calls made from bombay to you and vice versa unless their carbon emissions are below a bench mark.)

Six. REDUCE GLOBAL POPULATION THROUGH LOWERED RATES OF CONCEPTION!!!! If every human being is entitled to plug in a TV, then all our efforts for efficiency are useless if the demand is endlessly growing. Economic enrichment helps immensely to curb population growth, as is evident in europe and Japan. But it's unreliable. Making contraceptives more available and addressing cultural taboos will help as well. As supply grows with increased efficiency and production, population can grow as well. Population growth is the foundation for our social pressures.

And that's it in a nutshell.

I didn't read what you said but...

Burn all the Earth's trees! There's your Fuel! Why doesn't anybody see that?

The trees are bruning, if ye hadn't noticed yet

Nooo! We're wasting energy!

Al Gore would appreciate if you harnessed the new alternitive fuel- Wood.

And that's why the rain forests aren't producing more oxygen.

Oh, sure, they're storing all those nasty carbon dioxides in their bark but then we go and burn them and release them.

Given this, I say we burn down all the forests.

Ah, carbon poisoning, such a lovely way to die. I say yes please.

Not at all!

The solution to our carbon problems is more roads!

Well, asphalt to be exact. For about ten years after being laid, asphalt (and, to a lesser extent, concrete) absorbs carbon out of the air. It's why all those biospheres kept failing.

Sound counter-intuitive? It's science! More roads means less carbon in our air!

So road warrior wouldnt be such a bad thing

Or Road House.

Plus, it opens up a lot of road kill possibilities.

New form of capital punishment? We can dream.

(It's incredible how we can make something so dumb sound ever so rational).

Verbose has discovered the way! ALL HAIL VERBOSE!!!

(What is it with me and starting new pages?).

What? Mine is actually true. Trees aren't helping us because we burn them to release the carbon they trap.

When was the last time you chemically broke down some concrete or asphalt? That stuff stays pretty trapped.

They'd help if we stopped burning them, but that still poses other problems.

Well, if we all agree its the molecule CO₂'s fault we suffer like this, then let's extract it out of the atmosphere and burn it as fuel.

Co2 Is unburnable, i think. Am I wrong?

Fine, if not that, then the salt out of our oceans (-2 problems) since scientists have already found a way to easily extract it and burn it.

Then the sea fish will die out

Or, or, we could, y'know, build roads. Something we do anyway that will alleviate the problem rather than increase it.

Because I don't know what kind of fuel you think a CO₂ extractor is going to run on but my guess is that there's gonna be some carbon in our air somewhere in the process.


Mmm, taste the aquatic genocide. I know that's how I solve my air problems - by producing a bunch of food problems.

1. The machine can just as easily run off of non-fossil fuels, and could then absorb any and all Carbon Dioxide that may result from the mechanism, as long as we keep it running.

2. I'm not talking about all the salt in the ocean, since taking enough of it to damage the ecosystem would take generations. Also, ever heard of table salt?

Oh, you mean the stuff that (in my country) comes from the massive salt beds in Western Australia? The completely natural and pretty handy natural geological formation?

Yeah.