Since Lar apparently deleted the old one...

Another episode of LFG Wars

ILR: Lunaya, is that you?
Lunaya: Yes I am. And you *points at Richard* are going to die for what you just did!
Richard: Would it help if I told you he's not dead?
(Cale: Why would you not kill him?
Richard: I wouldn't.
Cale: Ah...)
ILR: You will not hurt my Richard!

Lunaya: Oh, really? We'll see, Terencebot, attack!


ILR: You want a small turtle robot to fight me?
Lunaya: Yes, only he's not so small.
*a giant turtle robot turns up*
ILR: U-oh... Soobot, morph into mega-robo-kitty-form!
Soobot: *Growl?*
Cale: Erm, he doesn't have a mega-robo-kitty-form…
ILR: Oh... Davie Jones, save me!!!
*lasers get fired at Terencebot*
Manta: Take that, you oversized metal reptile!
Rabies: Are you all right?
Grym: Apart from you being here, yes
Rabies: Ooh, the pretty Grymcess! What are you doing here?
Grym: Getting out of here. I'd love to help, but it's difficult to fight in a dress *runs away*
Benny: Bright lad. *follows him*
*the rest of the group follows*
Lunaya: Terencebot, get them!
*Terencebot moves slowly to the hangar*
Lunaya: ... Great. Tavor is dead, and they're gone...

Meanwhile, in the spaceship:

Cale: So you actually know each other?
Grym: Yeah, she put me I this dress in first place. Was Tlovids idea...
Richard: Then you will love to hear that he's dead now.
Grym: Really? Serves him right. *Goes into another room and changes his clothes. Green shirt, jeans, and his red headband*
Rabies: Hey, you were supposed do keep the dress on!
Grym: I know. But I bribed Frosti so I wouldn't need to wear it all the time *hands me 10 pancakes*
Thanks. Erm, ye're still wearing high heels... *hands over space sneakers*
Grym: Oops. Thanks.
Rabies: That's not fair! Now I'll draw a pic with you wearing a dress!
I AM wearing a dress. Only it's called a robe... Ok, how 'bout that? *whisperwhisper*
Rabies: Hehe, good idea! Grym, you’re the cook now! And you'll have to wear this! *hands over an apron* Now make us some pancakes! *crack*
Richard: I'd prefer a roasted child.
Grym: Thanks a bundle, Frost...
Manta: Where are we heading in fact?
Benny: To the resistance base. *this part had to be cut out because the bases location is secret*

Cale: What do you mean, the empire? The emperor's dead, forgotten?

Lunaya: He will, else somebody will have a very miserable time...

Grym: Sure. Either that or I'll stab you in the eyes.

Here's everything I've written so far. Just in case somebody missed an earlier part.







*Cale, Crank, and Soobot arrive at Tlovids house*
Crank: Is this the settling of David Kenobi?
Cale: Yes, if Tlovid really is this Kenobi person.
*Crank knocks on the door*
*a tall undead, clothed in a black and red robe and a cowl, opens the door*
What do you want?
Cale: Er… you are not Tlovid. Where is he?
He is in no fit state to talk with you
Crank: Why?
See that walking stick over there?
*he points at a structure that suspiciously looks like a spine*
That used to be his spine.
Cale: You mean he's dead?
Sure. In fact it was me who killed hem
Cale: You did WHAT?
Kill him.
Cale: But how should I learn of the Power? Without it, I can't kill Darth Raider and revenge my brother!
Crank: And we need his help to save the princess.
Huh. Nobody knows more of Power than I do. 'Cause I am Richard, Lord of the thirteen hells, master of evil...
Cale: Does that mean I have to kill you?
Richard: I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't. Else I can't kill the emperor
Cale: Why would you want to kill somebody as evil as you?
Richard: That's precisely the point. Nobody shall be allowed to spread more fear than me, the most evil being in the entire universe!
Crank: In order to save the princess, we'll need a space ship. Pinky, do you know where we can find one?
Cale: Sure, at the port of Tyne. It's the largest space port on the planet, and it's quite near.
Crank: So shall be it.
*The four set of for the port*



“Only if you two do ‘it’ afterwards”, the captain, a tough looking woman wielding a whip, demanded, pointing at Cale and Richard
Crank: Ok, just bring us there, will you?
(Cale: You must be kidding. No way will I do ‘it’
Richard: Neither will I, but there is a high probability the captain will… have an accident )
The rest of the crew consisted of a blonde who seemed to have a crush on Richard, and a guy whose face was permanently hidden behind a heart-shaped mask
( Richard: Are you so ugly that you have to hide your face, or are you simply stupid?)
(Mask: Must… kill… warlock…)




*in the spaceship*

Cale: So…er… my name is Cale’anon Windwalker, then there is Crank, Richard, and Soobot.
Soobot: *purr*
Cale: It’s, erm, a pleasure to meet you.
Guy with mask: Hi, I’m Manta Lord, though you may call me Manta. Our Captain is Rabies.
Rabies: Cale, clean the toilet, please. Now! *crack*
Cale: *whimper*
Richard: I’ll take care of this, I’m quite good at wiping...out entire villages
Manta: Don’t bother; she has a terrible imagination, usually involving men…
Cale: I see… So, who’s she then? *points at the Blonde*
Blonde: RICHAAAARD!!! I LOVE YOU RICHARD!*hugs Richard*
Richard:
Manta: You hear it, she rarely says anything else but how much she likes Richard. That’s why we call her Iloverichard.
Richard: Would you mind if I burned you so you’d die a slow and painful death?
ILR: No, not at all*still hugs Richard*
Richard: It’s no fun torturing somebody who actually enjoys it…
Cale: So why are you wearing this mask?
Manta: It’s… err… nothing to do with its mind controlling powers, which it doesn’t have. And it certainly didn’t crash the 3rd moon of Sirius Epsilon.
*red alert*
Crank: We’re under attack!
Manta: It’s a fleet of imperial scouts!
Cale: Can’t we defend ourselves?
Rabies: Well, you could use the laser guns for a start. This is a command!*crack*
Richard: Who needs laser weapons? *incinerates a passing scout*
ILR: Yay, you did it Richard!!! R-I-C-H-A-R-D! Kill ev-er-y-one you see!
Richard: Great, now I’ve got a cheerleader…
Manta: Damn, I missed! Hah, got you!
Cale: Do we have to feel such satisfaction when killing people? They have families to, you know?
Crank: Either it’s them or us, Pinky. And if it’s us, the rest of the galaxy will follow.
Rabies: That was the last one. Manta, what are the coordinates?
Manta: We should be almost there. Do you see anything on the monitor?
Rabies: Negative. Cut down the engines, I’ll perform a long range scan... Manta, I said cut down those engines! *crack*
Manta: I am, but the space ship is moving on its own?
Cale: What do you mean; it’s moving on its own?
Manta: Well, either we got caught in a gravity field, which is improbable… or we’re caught in some sort of tractor beam.
Rabies: Scan results incoming… there’s something large ahead of us
Cale: Could it be the empire? A trap?
Manta: Seems so…

(Manta: Surely not, I didn’t do anything!
Mask: Shut up, You fool!
Manta: Sorry, Master)




Rabies: That’s the imperial HQ for sure…
Manta: The door won’t last long!
Cale: Isn’t there anything we can do, like hide ourselves and surprise them or something?
Manta: We could, but there are two flaws in your plan.
Crank: First, there are too many of them out there.
Cale: And the second?
Rabies: We don’t have a place to hide…
Manta: We could crash a moon onto the HQ…
*crash*
Rabies: They’ in!
Cale: We're going to die!
Richard: Correction, THEY're going to die.*pulls out the soldiers skeletons*
See? Now I’ve got my own army
ILR: Cool, I want one too!

*they’re getting out of the space ship*

Cale: *activates his laser sword* Beware, there could be soldiers anywhere!
*Soldiers turn up every where and begin to shoot at the group*
Richard: I’ll handle this! FOR PONY!*fwoom*
(Cale: What’s a pony?
Crank: checking data base… Pony: extinct mammal used as means of transport by primitive cultures)
Rabies: Richard, Manta and I are going to take care of them, you find the princess! *cracks at a soldier*
ILR: But I don’t want to leave you, Richard!
Richard: Go away!
ILR: Anything you say.
Crank: Quick, the prison cells are that way!

The fighting along the way had to be censored due to the extreme violence, but afterwards our heroes find themselves by the prison cells, Crank holding up the single remaining living guard around.

Cale: Where is the princess?
Guard: I won’t tell you!
Crank: Tell us! Or do you want to suffer a painful death like your friends here?
Guard: Ok, the princess is in there *points at a door*
*snap*
Cale: Did you have to break his neck?
Crank: At least his death was quick and painless *opens the door*
Cale: *looks inside* is that the princess?
Crank: No
Cale: Thought so. Looks like a guy wearing a princess costume…
Guy in princess costume: Go on, laugh at me! I know that I’m looking silly. ‘Stuff him in a princess dress’, he said. ‘Ok’, she said. And now I’m sitting here, with nothing but a dress…
Cale: I’m not laughing…
Guy in princess costume: Good. Have you come to rescue me? I’d appreciate it.
Crank: Actually we were looking for Princess Benn’Joon…
Guy in princess costume: Oh, she’s next door. Would you mind if I came with you? I also need to change my clothes…
Cale: No, we wouldn’t. I’m Cale
Guy in princess costume: I’m Grymcess, I mean, Grym.
Crank: *opens door* Gid, Are you in there?
Benny: Crank! Is that really you?
Cale: Princess, we’ve come to save you!
Benny: That’s not David Kenobi… Who are you?
Cale: I’m Cale’anon Windwalker. Tlovid… couldn’t come, so I volunteered to help.
Crank: Come, we have to go!
Guy with turtle-shaped helmet: I’m afraid I can’t allow that.
Benny: Raider!
Cale: Run, princess! I’ll protect you!
Raider: Oh, do you, young Windwalker? I sense great Power in you… join me, and together we will rule the empire!
Cale: I won’t! No after what you did to my brother Tavor!
Raider: Stupid fool, don’t you know the truth?
Cale: What do you mean?
Raider: I AM your brother! *takes of helmet*
Cale: Nooooo!
Raider: Yes! Don’t you see? It’s your destiny to be by my side!
Cale: I won’t help you! I’d rather die.
Raider: That could be arranged.*activates lasor sword* Nobody can save you now…
*Raider gets fwammed*
Richard: No one puts Richard in a Corner!
ILR: Richard, you saved us!
Cale: My god, you killed Tavor!
Woman: You bastard!

Dun-dun-dunnnnnn…

(Grym: I hope so; else Frosti won’t live long enough to write another episode)



ILR: Lunaya, is that you?
Lunaya: Yes I am. And you *points at Richard* are going to die for what you just did!
Richard: Would it help if I told you he’s not dead?
(Cale: Why would you not kill him?
Richard: I wouldn’t.
Cale: Ah…)
ILR: You will not hurt my Richard!
Lunaya: Oh, really? We’ll see, Terencebot, attack!
ILR: You want a small turtle robot to fight me?
Lunaya: Yes, only he’s not so small.
*a giant turtle robot turns up*
ILR: U-oh… Soobot, morph into mega-robo-kitty-form!
Soobot: *Growl?*
Cale: Erm, he doesn’t have a mega-robo-kity-form…
ILR: Oh… Davie Jones, save me!!!
*lasers get fired at Terencebot*
Manta: Take that, you oversized metal reptile!
Rabies: Are you all right?
Grym: Apart from you being here, yes
Rabies: Ooh, the pretty Grymcess! What are you doing here?
Grym: Getting out of here. I’d love to help, but it’s difficult to fight in a dress *runs away*
Benny: Bright lad. *follows him*
*the rest of the group follows*
Lunaya: Terencebot, get them!
*Terencebot moves slowly to the hangar*
Lunaya: … Great. Tavor is dead, and they’re gone…

Meanwhile, in the spaceship:

Cale: So you actually know each other?
Grym: Yeah, she put me I this dress in first place. Was Tlovids idea…
Richard: Then you will love to hear that he’s dead now.
Grym: Really? Serves him right. *Goes into another room and changes his clothes. Green shirt, jeans, and his red headband*
Rabies: Hey, you were supposed do keep the dress on!
Grym: I know. But I bribed Frosti so I wouldn’t need to wear it all the time *hands me 10 pancakes*
Thanks. Erm, ye’re still wearing high heels… *hands over space sneakers*
Grym: Oops. Thanks.
Rabies: That’s not fair! Now I’ll draw a pic with you wearing a dress!
I AM wearing a dress. Only it’s called a robe… Ok, how ‘bout that? *whisperwhisper*
Rabies: Hehe, good idea! Grym, you’re the cook now! And you’ll have to wear this! *hands over an apron* Now make us some pancakes! *crack*
Richard: I’d prefer a roasted child.
Grym: Thanks a bundle, Frost…
Manta: Where are we heading in fact?
Benny: To the resistance base. *this part had to be cut out because the bases location is secret*


Cale: What do you mean, the empire? The emperor's dead, forgotten?

Lunaya: He will, else somebody will have a very miserable time…

Grym: Sure. Either that or I'l stab you in the eyes.

Aww, you even included my turtle. ^^ Thanks!

Heh, no problem.

But he's so slooow.

Nicwe work on the Fnafic Frost, it's been goin' quite nice!

Now... May I present... Alll of my segments thus far!

Hmmm... Apostrophes don't work.... Ignore that, please.


Richard was strolling along the pathway, having slaughtered another village. He was in a generally good mood, mainly because he killed the mayor of the village by removing his internal organs through his eyes. Behind him, there was nothing but a wake of pain and devastation. He was delighted. After a while, he noticed something peculiar. The trees were… avoiding him. Well, more than usual, anyway.
He went to investigate, making sure to check every thing, from all the blood smeared on the ground, to the rabid badgers eating pancakes, to the dancing bananas sniffing ‘shrooms. Nope, nothing wrong here.
He turned around only to see a mysterious man in a Blue Jacket that read “Lynwood’ with a goatee that must’ve only been grown on a year or so ago. The man had a rodent on his shoulder that was wearing a disgustingly cute sweater that read “Harvey the Wonder Hamster”. Richard stepped back.
“I’d ask who you are, but then I’d have to pretend I care,” he stated.
“Hello,” said the stranger, “You probably know me very well.”
“No I don’t,” said Richard, “And I still don’t care.”
“All children have heard my music.”
“I’m not a child. I’m Richard, Chief Warlock of the Brothers of Darkness, Lord of the Thirteen Hells, Master of The Bones, and Lord of the Undead!”
“I’m sure that’s nice and all, but I’m Weird Al Yancovic. Yes, stop applauding, I know.”
“Leave me alone!”
“Make me.”
“Alrighty.” Richard blasted this parodist into the ground, turned the ashes into a baby, and ate it whole. Having thought he defeated the threat, he tried walking away. Immediately, the full grown Al burst out of his stomach with no scratches.
“Wha-“started Richard, to only be interrupted by The Singer.
“Everyone knows Pop stars are immortal,” Chortled Weird Al. “Now, the reason I’m here. You have been assigned to save the world in an inane and stupid way, interacting with random pop culture people as you go. The Great Fanboy in the sky declares it!”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”


“Indeed!” said Al, “You must!” The Great Fanboy in the sky still hasn’t decided what he wants you to do in the first place, so you’ll have to do a filler quest meanwhile!”
“Wha-“
“CONSULT THE LORD OF THE FLIES!”
“I hate you. I wish I can kill you. I can’t, I just-“Richard then proceeded to try to wring his own neck.
“Don’t kill yourself, silly! You’re undead, remember?”
“Don’t remind me.”
“Now now. I won’t be so bad! Now go and travel without me!”
“You aren’t coming? Thank every Unspeakable Dark God-“
“You’re traveling with Tarroc theeht carroT, the symmetrical vampiric vegetable!”
“Oh mercy.”
“He’ll meet you on the way. Now, travel to the Castle AUUUUUUGGHH!”
“What if I don’t?”
“Then I’ll use my celebrity powers to wipe to put you in a Fangirl’s Yaoi Anime.
“You can do that?” whispered Richard in a small voice. To the uninitiated, it would’ve seemed at that moment that Richard was actually scared.
“I’ll go on your friggin’ adventure. But I first need to go Fwoom a bunny.”

“Go. GO!” shouted Weird Al, and Richard strutted off slowly.
“Stupid Fanboy in the Sky. Why does it have to be that if any one knows a lot about Discworld, contact him or PM him or something, PLEASE!” Richard was taken aback. That wasn’t his voice. It sounded like some Primordial deity demanding to be PMed for Fanfic purposes. Richard shuddered.
Richard looked at some handy invisible map on the ground as he strolled. He saw that he had to go north for 3 chapters before he arrived.
“Aaahrrhhggh!” he screamed. Darn Fanboy… Making him break the Fourth Wall…
“Ack! Fourth Wall Break!” Richard’s Head Asploded.


THE END





In an Alternate Universe sort of related to this one, Richard set off on his quest… Stupid Al. Richard saw an abandoned castle ahead. I used his Warlock-Sense to see that it was the CASTLE EATMYDUSTYOUN00BS! Richard wanted to kill whoever comes up with the names for these Castles.
He decided to spend the night in there, and possibly kill the inhabitants. Richard strut up to the castle, and blasted down the door.
As he strode inside, he noticed something funny… In the shadows, something moved…. He went to investigate.
He quickly examined the scene, and wondered whether whatever was hiding could be roasted on a stick. He turned towards a strange vegetably noise. He turned around back to where he was searching.
Before he knew it, he was down, with a giant carrot on top of him.
“BLOOD! I NEEDA YOUR BLOOD! GIMME! GIMME!” shouted the carrot.
“I’m presuming you are Tarroc. I’m sorry, I don’t have blood… of the sort you need. Now, you are supposed to lead me to the Lord of the Flies?”
“THAT IS CORRECT!”
“So… we’re leaving in the morning…?”
“ONCE I GET ME BLOOD! ES SO YUMMY!”
“I see you love your blood. Here!” The Warlock pulled out 3 Buckets of Blood he conveniently had on hand.
“YUMMY!” The Vampire Carrot gorged himself.
“I hate everything.”


Richard and Tarroc traveled for a few days, with Richard trying his best to cure the Carrot for his vampirism.
“I hate this bloody quest,” He moaned.
“I LIKE TEH BLOOD PUNS! IT MAKES ME SO HAPPEI!
“Shut up!” shouted Richard, exasperated. This may have been the first time he had experienced such a feeling. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid! Once you were undead there were no means of escape. Richard thought that being an all-powerful warlock would solve all of his problems… He knew better now.
“LOOK! IT’S THE CASTLE!”
Indeed, in front of them, was the Castle Auuuuuuugh. Richard peered at it. It was unusually small…
“IT’S BIGGER ON THE INSIDE DEN DE OUT. IT’S LIKE T.A.R.D.I.S. FROM DR. WHO!”
“The wha-?” Richard queried.
“WATCH MORE BBC!”
“Richard ignored his Carrot Guide’s stupidity. As they reached the castle’s courtyard, he noticed that the castle was segmented, as if progress throughout was difficult.
“Why is it like-“
“TEH LORD OF DEE DLIES DON’T SEE ANEEWUN WITHOUT SEM COMPLETING THE “Seven Trials of Destiny!”
“What! Seven! I thought the requisite was three!”
“DEH LlOYD ID PICKY!”
“What’s the first stupid Trial?”
“FIND THE KEY TO DA FWONT DOOWR!”
Richard saw a gleaming, Octarine key chained to the front door. Richard smirked.
“Pshaw. The Lord of The Flies in an artard.”
“IT GETS HARDER-“
“SHUT UP! LEMME ALONE!” shouted the Warlock. He took the key, opened the door and walked inside.


Richard saw… A hall. But wait! Not just any hall… A hall… with PANELS! Specifically, 4,696 panels. Each had writing…. He went up to one. He read… webwebbbw: Joined 23 February 2007. Richard thought what the cryptic nature of the room was…
“DOS ARE DE MEMBERS OF TEH LFG FORUMS!” shouted Tarroc. “THEY KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU!”
“What?”
“FOURTH WALL THING.”
“What’s the Fou-“He stopped himself. He had a strange memory that even thinking about such a term would lead to brain asplosion.
Many of the glass panels fell of the wall and shattered. About two thirds of them were gone.
“THOSE ARE ONES WHO POST ONLY UP TO FIVE TIMES OR NONE AT ALL! THEY ARE VERY BAD BEFORE THE SIGHT OF THE MAGNIFICANT SOH-LAR!”
“Whatever…” Richard muttered. He has long since learned to accept the inanities of his life. Even more Panels fell to the ground.
“THOSE ARE DOSE DAT USED TO POST BUT DON’T POST ANYMORE!”
“Hmm…” More panels fell, leaving a few left.
“NOW ALL DAT’S LEFT IS WHOEVER THE GWEAT FANBOY DEEMED HILARIOUS FOR YOU TO FIGHT1”
“Hmm… Fighting, eh? Are they immortal?”
“ONLY A FEW.”
“That’s comforting.”
“YOU CAN ONLY ESCAPE ONCE EVERYONE THAT’S LEFT LEAVES THEIR PANEL AND TEH ROOM!”
“If you say so.” One Panel turned orange, and out burst out a blond woman with tentacles for arms.
“Oh Richardkins?” The girl inquired. “Where are you?” Richard ducked in a desperate means of hiding, even if there were no places to hid. How’d she know his name?
“I know you are around here!” She glanced down on the pile of robes that was Richard. “RICHARD!” The woman leaped on to him, clawing and kissing and doing any sort of unspeakable horror to Richard.
“FOR ANYTHING HOLY, GET IT OFF!” Through his sad attempts to escape, he saw on the female’s tunic ‘I Wuv Wichard! Oh, and Davy Jones too.’
Richard did not know who this Davy Jones was, but he had an idea. He pointed in anyone direction that he could manage, and shouted “HEY OVER THERE! DAVY JONES! OUTSIDE THE DOOR!”
The Fan girl shrieked and ran out the door. Richard got up wearily and dusted himself. Another Panel started glowing.
“There’s more?” Richard asked in a quavering voice. He looked around for Tarroc and noticed that he wasn’t there.
Out of the panel came a young boy wearing a pink dress and tiara.
“Oh no. They’re sending transvestites now?”
“Well, about that…” started the boy. “This is just a stupid thing that Tlovid’s been doing recently. May I go now?”
“Of course you can, Child!” As the adolescent was in the doorway, Richard pulled out a knife and hurled it into the kid’s back, killing him instantly.
“I feel GOOD, Bowowowa!”


Yet another portrait opened, and a suited knight appeared. Richard could tell by his natural senses that he was a WoW player… He naturally despised those who did… He could tell that he didn’t compare life to it incessantly, and that improved the magnitude of his death slighten a bit, fortunately for the knight. Richard cast a bolt at the knight, but it bounced off if his +42 Force Shield of Force Shields. Richard cast bolt after bolt at the general area of the knight, with each spell bouncing off of his miraculously unaffected copper armor. Richard had a general idea of what to do with these types.
“Look! A new expansion pack!” he shouted. The Knight turned around, and Richard melted the single chink of armor not protected by Cthulhu’s +9 Tunic of Awesome or of the Like. Due to some explainable reason, the Knight summarily asploded.
The next portrait brandished a whip bearing woman, who towered over Richard with a crazed look in her eye. Richard stared at her.
“Calea’non Vatay! To me!” A blond haired Elf popped out of nowhere, half naked and bound. The Woman snapped and Richard was in the same position.
“What the!” muttered Richard.
“You two! Kiss! NOW!!!” screamed the woman.
“Come on man, just do it…” muttered the Elf. “She frees me as soon as you do.” Richard twitched.
“Reluctant are ye!” the Antagonist shouted, “WHIPPING TIME! She drew out 2 whips, one in each hand, and mercilessly beat the two. Richard saw nothing but bad. He was shirtless, bound to the floor, and his only possible ally is slowly bleeding to death. Richard had only one thing to do. He leaned in close to the Elf…
And summoned an undead army with the power of his thoughts, as he is awesome like that. They picked up the whipper and devoured her. Richard chuckled. Suddenly, an explosion occurred, with the woman appearing again, unscathed.
“Fool! I’m undead as well!” She turned into a giant undead tornado, which is feasibly impossible as tornadoes aren’t living in the first place, so you can not have zombies. Anyway, Richard realized that he had one chance. He scooted over to the wall, where a low-hanging plaque was located. Knowing it was his only chance, he knocked it off of the wall, shattering it. A plasma vortex of sheer Hatred and Destruction appeared and went straight for the most powerful target in the room. As the two powerhouses were fighting, Richard read from the plaque who he had unleashed: Verbose. ‘Verbose? That’s a stupid name!’ thought Richard.
Richard turned again. By this time both of the catastrophes were destroyed, as they had fought to the death. The elf was nowhere to be found. Richard found himself phenomenally recomposed, being back on his feet with clothes back on and the ropes gone.
“I give my regards to Broadway.”

Shouldn't it be Torrac?

Frosti, great new chapter! ^^
And MantaLord's still makes me laugh

mine-> http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3823662/1/Miracle

nothing new yet, sorry

Yeah, so as I was saying 'fore Lar screwed up, I'm probably gonna write a FanFic. Centered around Krunch, before he came to the group. Once I am done with this FanPic.

O.O My fic is gone. Totally, completely gone.


....Off AFF, at least. I have it saved somewhere else, though this is still a bitch. Owell, it might give me an opportunity to find a different place to put it.

What was that that GB used to put hers on?

Actually, I have my own geocities space. It's sometimes crappy and you have to pay to not have advertisements on the side, but if you're cheap -- ahem...like me -- it's good enough. Want me to host it and give you the links? Or you can just sign up for a freebie spot like mine.

I think it may have been her personal website.

I got an account on Fanfiction.net, but it turned out I couldn't post my story because of Al.

Yeah, that was mine. ^^ Love the picture Rip, so I guess I should repost the fic in question. Here it is. Enjoy, if you haven't already!

Yay! I thought it was you, but I couldn't remember for sure. *rereads* I like this one.

Also, GB, could you could you please??? It would make things so much easier, I think.

I'll PM you my e-mail address. You can send me the document, and I'll code it, put it up, and send back the linkage. Deal?

I can...send it to you in txt form right? Kus I can't do files. That's the biggest problem with finding someplace to put it.

Text is cool. Just be sure to mark any italics or bold face you want. Any formatting, I mean.

I'm good. Thanks. ^.^

De nada.

The little blurb under the title of the thread just got a cadence stuck in my head. Damnit! >.<+

Ah, damn, should I repost my two fanfics or should I keep that kinda crappiness away from the world?

Stop askin stupid questions and post, knave!

That's weird, this chick just sprayed windex and it smelled like fruit loops......>.>

Krunch Bloodrage knelt down, and looked at the recently trampled earth. He picked some up, and sniffed it. ‘Trolls.’ Krunch smelt lots of trolls. And judging by the tracks (And the ruckus, they were just over that hill. He stood up, and took off at a jog back towards camp.

‘But father, it’s just a small camp! We could take them all, me and Karnage!’ Krunch said to his father.
‘No. They would be too strong for you, and I would not risk my heirs. I will send a raiding party, in a couple days.’ His father replied.
‘Father!’
‘No.’

‘Karnage. Brother, waken yourself.’
Karnage awoke with a start. ‘Brother… Why do you wake me during the wee hours? Now is the time for sleep.’
‘Theirs a small troll camp a ways that-a-way. Ready for some raiding?’

Great start Grym!

Carnage is one of my favorite villiansas I was saying, Eat more crumpets!

...Que? Crumpets?

Holy crap! Is that...fanfiction of fanfiction??

@.@

It appears so Gutters! Karnage is quite the hit!

No, It's a fanfiction of a comic which just happens to have the same character as a different fanfiction. It is based off of Krunch's earlier years, so I had to have his brother in therez!

Okay...then what comic is Karnage from?

I believe that Stoll originally mentioned Krunch's unnamed brother...

As fot Carnage... Reallycoolspidermanvillian.

Hell yes!

Nice star wars parody you wrote there,Frosti!*secretly wishes that I can be in it*
As for the other fic...Rabies and ILR seems to be more rabid than what they
already were!LULZ GRYMCESS APPEARED!

You're second in the queue, I think.

*Checks list*

Jep, as far as I remember, only Rip van Ishmael comes before ye. Plus those who didn't ask me, but I'll put in anyway.
Let me think that over, I need a role for you.

I should really consider adding my little ditty that included myself and my two other personalities... Oh, wait... I think I have it...

In the criminal justice system: loosely-based offenses are given the highest order of punishment. An elite group of people are given the task to uphold the tradition of such unusual punishments in Helios City. They are called the Super Special Awesome Team of Multiracial Bi gender Persons for The Unfair Treatment of Minor Criminals in Helios City (And Sometimes Jersey). These are their stories...

[Cheesy clanking sound]
Starring - -
SAYURI: Female, Assistant District Attorney
SOOBA: Male, The Janitor
RICHARD & KRUNCH: Male, Detectives
BENNY: Female, Detective
FROSTI: Male, Psychologist


Date: August the 21st
Place: The Giant Rock

[Fade in]

SAYURI: Okay, so I called all of you... [Pauses]

SOOBA: What? [Continues to pick nose]

SAYURI:...Can you.. refrain from digging at your brain until I'm done? [Arches a brow]

SOOBA: [Muttering] I'll pick something... [incoherent]

RICHARD: Can we get on with it? I have small children in some foreign country to disembowel.... [Chuckles somewhat evilly]

KRUNCH: [Face palm] Oy...

CALE: You know what small children does to your cholesterol.

RICHARD: Hehe...I know.

SAYURI: [Sighs loudly] If you're quite finished, we can start the meeting. [Looks around] Good, good. Now then, we all know about the recent release of Wattson... we aren't pleased about it but...

RICHARD: Wait, they actually let that f***stick out on parole?!

BENNY: [Scoffs] Nice choice of language.

KRUNCH: Really, Richard, do you have to refer to everyone like that?

RICHARD: Yes, yes I do.

SAYURI: Okay, who taught Richard the new word.

CALE: [Points to Frosti] Him.

SAYURI: Frosti, you're supposed to be setting a good example to him. Not encouraging his misbehavior.

FROSTI: [Waves his hands in defense] Its not my fault if he eavesdrops on my conversations. I can't be held responsible for him - he's not my third head.

RICHARD: [Laughs] Do you even have a third head, if you catch my vernacular?

SOOBA: [Laughs] He said f***stick.

SAYURI: Bless it! Now you've got Sooba saying it.

BENNY: [Hides her smirk behind her hand] It is rather amusing...

SOOBA: [Shouts it] F***STICK!

SAYURI: Do you realize how long it will take me to get him to unlearn that?

SOOBA: [Yelling] F***STICK!

RICHARD: What? I didn't think he would repeat me. [Chuckles] Actually... now that I think about it.

BENNY: [Scoff] Don't even try to act like you did that purposely.

FROSTI: Why don't we just--

SOOBA: Benny, you're a pretty f***stick.

[All go silent]

Join us next week when our troupe comes to you live from the post-Apocalyptic crater Benny makes...

Bad Frosti, bad! *punches myself*

Now ye'll be in yer own Fanfic! And ye won't enjoy it!

Hush. You will enjoy the publicity.

Another episode of LFG Wars. 6, I think. Enjoy!

At the resistance base:

Benny: You guys did a great job out there, you know? The emperor’s dead, there’re hardly any soldiers left and, most of all, I’m free. But there’re still some people out there who’re loyal to the empire. Our job is it to kill them.

Cale: Do we have to? I’m sick of this killing. It depresses me. One moment I got a brother, the next he’s dead.
Richard: Go cry, emo kid!
Cale: You’re not making it better...
Benny: Shut up, you two! General, hand over those plans!
General: Call me Ishmael.
Benny: Alright... Ishmael, hand me those plans.
Ishmael: Roger ma’m! *hands over plans*
Benny: On those planets, *points at the maps*, are still some imperial outposts. We have to destroy them. It’s your *points at Cale, Manta & Rabies* mission to get there and blast them with ultrasonic bombs. Clean and effective, though a bit loud. Our engineers prepared some Y-wings for you.
Grym: Y-wings?
Benny: Because propellers are out, that’s why.
Grym: That’s not really what I meant...
Benny: Meanwhile, you *points at Richard, ILR and Grym* have to destroy the imperial HQ. I chose you for this mission because Grym knows the place and Richard is the most powerful killing machine we have.
Richard: Thanks for the compliment. I’ll show you what I can do right now, if you wish
Benny: Leave it be!
Manta: But why ILR?
Benny: Because she’ll be even worse than Cale is now, if we separated her from Richard. Plus I think she seeks revenge against Lunaya.
ILR: She shouldn’t have threatened my Richard.
Benny: Everybody ready? General... Ishmael, bring them to their space ships.
Ishmael: Roger princess!

Meanwhile, at the imperial HQ...

Lunaya: FROST! Get here!
Frosti: Yea?
Lunaya: Go and resurrect my Tavor!
Frosti: Do I have to? In my opinion we’d be better off without him! I hate emperors!
Lunaya: Then why are you on our side?
Frosti: Because my other personality made me do it...
Told ye ye wouldn’t like it. It’s an advantage having split personalities; ye can punish them without being affected yerself.
Lunaya: Well then tell him to do what I say!
Frosti: I won’t!
Shut up ye two! Apart from us, there’m still two of me left, so be quiet if ye don’t want to be blown up or have yer heads cut off.
Frosti: *sigh* Ok... but I still can’t do it!
Lunaya: Why not? His body’s in a perfectly good state so you should be able to do it!
Frosti: Two reasons: First, He’s not me. It’s harder to rezz then. Second, he’s too long and too much dead. His soul’s probably already gone to hell!
Lunaya: Then we’ll have to get it back. LISA!
Sayuri: Huh? Did somebody call me?
Lunaya: Yes, me. I want you to become Lord of hell and to get back Tavor’s soul.
Sayuri: What if he’s in heaven?
Lunaya: Then become God, whatever. Just bring his soul back!
Frosti: F@!%stick!
Lunaya: Frost!
Frosti: Sorry, Sayuri made me do it!
Lunaya: God...
Sayuri: Yes?
Lunaya: Not you. Now go!
Sayuri: Ok.
Lunaya: Crystal, how many soldiers are left?
Crystalsuicune: I’m afraid not many. And most of them are about to get killed by ultrasonic bombs.
Lunaya: So we’re defenceless?
CS: I wouldn’t say defenceless...
Lunaya: What do you mean?
CS: Well, the writer just sent us thousand gnomes. Some of them are fine engineers, too.
Frosti: YOU BASTARD!
Well, stop swearing!

[Once again, we see our "heroes"... in the same clearing..]
[Cheesy clanking sound]

SAYURI: If you're all finished... [Gowls at the poker game still continuing even after the commercials had ended]

RICHARD: [Shifts his weight and grunts]

BENNY: [Smirks casually and lays down her hand] Read 'em and weep boys.

KRUNCH: [Shakes his head in defeat] Well, I had hoped it wouldn't have come down to this...

SOOBA: [Drools]

BENNY: One, two, three... [Wiggles her stubby fingers and strips all of the males down to their bones] ..aah, the fruits of victory.

SAYURI: [Grumbles, then looks up to the skeletons] Gah! You call that a victory?

RICHARD: No, she calls it "strip poker."

SAYURI: [Cringes] That's disgusting!

SOOBA: [Grinning like an idiot] I feel so free!

CALE: [Sighs] For once, Krunch, I have to agree with what you're thinking... We could have chosen a more lucrative past time.

SAYURI: You have one - you're just choosing to ignore it right now.

RICHARD: Just like we choose to ignore... YOU! [Chuckles]

BENNY: Why do I foresee imminent death in your future, Richard?

RICHARD: Me? Nah. Lisa couldn't squish a bug.

FROSTI: [Shakes his head and takes a seat on a nearby rock] Okay, since Benny won, we can go back to business.

SAYURI: You have no idea how creepy it is seeing you speak.

RICHARD: Abbugugughhfufhudhfudhf...

[All shake their head at Richard's blatant stupidity.]

SOOBA: [Chuckles] You make Sooba look smart...

RICHARD: [Gowls at Sooba]
---

Aw, I only get one line...

Oh yea, and I have X-Ray glasses, I don't need to play strip poker.

[Fade in.]

RICHARD: [Shivering] Can you explain to me again why we can't go inside? I'm freezing my baggettes off...

BENNY: Do you really want to be ripped to shreds by small, hairy, smelly humanoids?

RICHARD: Anything would be better than standing out here in the snow.

SAYURI: Isn't there a band of trolls nearby? [Arches her brow, adjusting her furry cowl]

KRUNCH: [Shrugs casually] I see nothing wrong with the cold. Temperature is simply a matter of mind.

RICHARD: Speak for yourself, Krunch! And and as for those "trolls" - they're f***ing crazy. They don't know any better.

FROSTI: Richard... um... I feel compelled to remind you: you are the fire-third of this trio we have going on.

RICHARD: [Stops shivering and blinks]

BENNY: Wait... you mean to tell me Richard could have simply started a fire instead of complaining?

RICHARD: [Shakes his fist] Shut up, Benny! Its so cold here that it made me forget!

SAYURI: [Laughs] His braincells froze on impact!

SOOBA: [Wiggles his butt in the snow and picks his nose]

KRUNCH: Sorry, Richard, but she has you at that one.

FROSTI: Alright, we searched everywhere for Wattson, but he lost us somewhere around the Great Forge. He's a slipery character.

BENNY: You know, I could use my all-seeing eye to track him down...

RICHARD: [Yelps] Damnit!

SAYURI: Huh? Richard, are you okay?

RICHARD: [Mutters and sucks his finger]

SOOBA: [Bursts out laughing] Hahah! Big nose burned himself with his own fire!

[Silence before uproarious laughter.]

BENNY: [Still laughing rather hard] You're specialized in fire spells and you burned yourself?! I thought you would be immune to your own attack...

RICHARD: Its not like I did it purposely! I was trying to attack a rabbit and it backfired! It happens... its casual.

KRUNCH: [Still chuckling modestly] Actually, its about a one and one billion chance that you are affected by your own magic.

FROSTI: It is so not casual... [Starts laughing again]

SAYURI: So... [Clears her throat to try and stifle her laughter] Richard...

RICHARD: Yes? [Eyeballs her with caution]

SAYURI: Are you cold? [Everyone starts laughing again.]

Good thing Richard didn't try to blow something up*g*

*hides da Bombs*

*snortchokes*

Frosti, you crack me up. Heheh....

And Sayuri, that's hysterical! Woot for self-insertion fanfiction!

[Fade in]

BENNY: You know.. have we ever thought of changing the name?

RICHARD: [Swallows his goblin on a stick] Shush. The name stays.

CALE: [Winces] Richard... chew then swallow.

KRUNCH: Speak for yourself, Cale, we've had indigestion all day thanks to him.

FROSTI: [Looks woosy] Ugh...

RICHARD: [Shrugs] As long as what causes the pain tastes this good.

SAYURI: You know, we really should consider shortening the name.

RICHARD: C'mon! Why mess with a good thing?

BENNY: How are we supposed to make business cards with such a long name?

RICHARD: I'm way ahead of you. [Digs out black cards]

FROSTI: [Hiccups]

KRUNCH: Richard... [Inspects the card] Um... what is this?

RICHARD: Our business cards. I mean, if people want to be able to contact us for any reason...

SAYURI: Richard, its black ink on black laquer. No one will be able to see this.

RICHARD: Pfffttt... Those with negative imaging vision will simply have to inform everyone else. Not that difficult, Lisa. [Rolls his eyes]

SOOBA: [Sniffles] Sooba can't read pretty card! [Stuffs it into his mouth] But it tastes good...

BENNY: Honestly, who has "negative imaging vision?"

RICHARD: I doubt people with that kind of ability are going to promote themselves. That's why the extra name under the title states we also manage talented people.

SAYURI: You can't be serious.

FROSTI: Oh, he's serious... seriously retarded.

KRUNCH: I believe the PC term is "mentally incapacitated."

CALE: No, he can still move and... every other disgusting bodily function...

RICHARD: The proper term is: shut the f*** up.

BENNY: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

RICHARD: No, but I did something to your mother with this mouth.

CALE: Woah! Benny! Before you go thinking of blasting him into the next century... remember... the rest of us are standing here.

KRUNCH: Indeed! Simply bop him on the noggin.

SAYURI: [Carts the squirrely woman away] Alright, Benny... time for your nap...

BENNY: [Squirms frantically] I'll kill you, Richard! I'll kill you! With like... a rock... or something...

RICHARD: Yeah, right, what is a four-foot walking ottoman with pink fuzz going to do to me? I'd punt you like a soccer ball. [Chuckles modestly]

[A large explosion is heard. While Benny looks unscathed, the rest of our misfit heroes look charred and black.]

SAYURI: [Coughs out a puff of smoke] Well, at least... [Coughs] ..we can pass for the Jackson five at the next talent show.

RICHARD: [Blinks] You know, I learned something today...

BENNY: O Mighty Richard - do tell.

RICHARD: [Dropkicks Benny over a field post] That.

KRUNCH: This might sould like an odd time to ask this but... What honestly goes through a person's mind when they are launched off like that?

[Camera focuses on Benny in mid-air]

Benny's Inner Monologue: I hate to admit it but this is cheaper than using a flightpath. Hey! I can see my house from up here. Wait... that f***er owes me money! Death from above! Neeeerrrrooowwwww!!!

Yeah,I totally get that pun...
lulz crysis.
Arelwai(mah hat):ORLY?!!
YARLY!!

Heh.

If the name should be changed, i vote for KJPD

Too funny, Frosti and Sayuri!

Does that mean I don't have to rezz Tavor anymore?

Bwahahahah! That's awesome!

Damn, peoples been busy. I'll throw this out there before getting around to catchin up, as I don't have much time today.

And lo, my fanfic returns! Thanks to the indomitable GB, who let me put it on her site. No updates, but I should have the rest up by early next week, I hope.

A Lil' Bit'O Withdrawl

Enjoi.

Hey, man. I just can't handle loss of fanfic. *grin*

Soooo, am I the only one who thinks it's a little....how to say this....odd that Sooba is the janitor in this fic?