Well, i am currently laid up thanks to the fact that I am in the (painful) process of passing a 4mm kidney stone. Who knew that something so small could burn like liquid fire? So I have decided that one of the best ways to get through the pain is to let you tell me about yours so I can laugh with (at) you!

So aside from kidney stones, I have managed to attempt to amputate one of my fingers, which has resulted in a very cool scar and a couple hundred dollars worth of hand surgery.

Ouch. Stones = not fun. That's like, "FOR GOD'S SAKE, SOMEONE GIVE ME A HAMMER, A BLENDER, ANYTHING!"

Back when I was a kid, I was playing "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" (aaah ... that takes me back) with a friend of mine. I think I was Raphael (red dude with sai) that, if I recall, was a plastic knock-off from the series, and he was Donatello (purple dude with bo staff), wielding a long, light-weight PVC pipe.

Well, his Dad told us to put the stuff away. Pseudo-Donatello, being of a short temper, got frustrated when he wasn't allowed to contest this decision with his dad. So, he took one last swing, a little too close to Pseudo-Raphael.

He took my right cheek along with it.

I don't mean he hit me really hard, or he poked me really hard, or swatted and left a bruise, or cut a circle from the pipe into my cheek inadvertently. IT TOOK MY F---ING CHEEK OFF. The skin tore and flew off.

The whole right side of my face was blood and pain. A friend of ours from down the street saw me on my way into the house to figure out what that stinging feeling was (I was in shock) and burst into tears when she saw me. They had to sew the skin of the cheek back together. I still have a tiny scar right under my right eye.

[Edit] I forgot to mention the time I slipped while running in place and dropped straight onto my foot with the weight of my entire body. That was the first time. The second time, I was trying to catch up to someone on a stairwell and mis-stepped, falling past five or six stairs and landing with a loud crunch - and again, the weight of my entire body - on the same ankle. I ended up in physical therapy after that one.

You know, that remindes me of the story of the kid who killed his sister because he thought he was the rock.

I'm going to hell for this but...

Did he ask her if she could smell what he was cooking before lay'in the smackdown on her?

I'm sorry, I could not resist... I'm weak.

You're evil...I like it.

I've had...three such incidents. One self-inflicted, one sorta self-inflicted, and one courtesy of my younger brother.

1)Self-inflicted - Halloween, 1997: I had trouble getting into my costume that day (it was the tight-fitting Superman deal), and I got a little pissed (I was 10, and dealing with all kinds of emotional shit) and punched through a dual-pane window - WITH MY BARE RIGHT ARM. Needless to say, I got slashed up pretty good - I still have scars around my right hand and the "big one" about two inches from the vein in my elbow joint. It needed two stitches.
2)Sorta self-inflicted - about two weeks ago: I was coming out of the "worker compound" at the racetrack I occasionally volunteer for when I stepped wrong on the step - and went knee first right into the concrete landing. I'm a fairly big guy, and occasionally somewhat of a klutz - so this hurt like a mother! Scraped my leg up real good, still a bit sore...
3)Courtesy of my younger brother - about 12 years ago: He kicked me in the face, broke my nose in the process. But of course it was my fault, because I was the elder sibling (I was in foster care, and I refused to subscribe to their bullshit...he, on the other hand, was so gullible - he was 6 - that he'd subscribe to ANYTHING if you told him to).

Around me being 10-14 years old all manner of shit happend, got stabbed in the middle finger with a pair of scissors had to get five stitches. Got hit in the head by a flying bottle, 4 stitches. Wind sent a piece of wood flying at my face hitting less than a inch from my left eye 1 stitch. Fallen from a tree smashed my face.
Last christmas at a party I got beaten really up, almost broke my nose and got lots of minor scrathes and wounds, a while after I went to the toilet to check how bad it was, I realise the mirror is smashed to pieces and of course I get some cuts from the broken mirror.

But so far I have never broken any bone in my body.

when i was about 5 or 6, my parents took me to a playground. long story short, i ran across those rickety bridges that they put on the playgrounds, tripped, and had to get stiches. i forget how many, but i still have a checkmark-shaped scar on my forehead, and im contiuously asked about it

Stitches, that must sting
The most painful thing that's ever happened to me was when I fell off a flight of stairs during a game of tag when I was in third grade.
And back in second grade, I was playing on the monkey bar, I finally was able to climb and go upside down and stuff, and then my hands slipped. But because my feet were still clinging on to the monkey bar, I didn't fall off, but my head slammed right on the bars as I ended up hanging upside down.
And then there was this time I was talking on phone. Had a habit of walking everywhere when I talk on phone, and I ended up walking on top of the bathroom counter. Walked off the edge, slipped, and fell vertically on my head. Marble floor = AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Surgery with the anesthetic improperly applied, so it was basically the same as no anesthetic.

Twice.

:<

Think I've got the worst one so far:

Back when I was living in New England my friends and I were sledding on a rather large hill that happened to have trees near the bottom, so of course, being the geniuses that we are (we're only 8 and 9 years old at this point) we decide to sled facedown, lying on our stomachs in the respective sleds.

Well, you can guess what happened next, I went headfirst into a rather large oak tree and slipped a disk in my lower back, I didn't regain full mobility in my legs until I was fourteen, and they still go numb sometimes, the worst being during gym class when they completely gave out on me while running the track and I was nearly trampled.

True, that IS fairly bad, with really long-term repercussions. Ouchies. You're lucky you didn't die, honestly.

I had to have some therapy after my thing, though. It wasn't any really hardcore surgery, but still. I couldn't move because they strapped me down to the bed and the meds were making it difficult to move, but it still hurt so bad apparently you could hear me screaming two whole buildings over from the place. :< That doctor was an asshole, honestly. "I don't think it's working right, I can still feel everything OH GOD OW OW OW" "No it's fine you're imagining things, lets get this party started" "OH GOD OH ASJKLHALJHASDKLFJHAKLJFGAKLFGKA AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AJKKLAFA"

I've had quite a few other medical mishaps, like when drawing blood, the last thing you want to hear is "... hmmm, that's not right..." OR "... Oops!" because they are both terrible things to hear. I'm used to having blood drawn so I can even watch it happen with dejected curiosity and not feel much pain or anything, but sometimes the techs can't find the vein and end up poking so many holes in both your arms and the back of your hands that they send you home and ask you to come back before they can try again because it could cause some major damage if they kept poking you. Or an inexperienced tech can force the needle all the way through the vein so that they're not drawing from the vein and have to try again. And so on.

Xodd has been lucky enough to not suffer from missing bloody chunks or appendages, but Zodd does remember a time when he was in the woods cutting down a tree and tree went where it was supposed to but one of the limbs broke free from the top and came straight down. Xodd nearly messed himself and began back peddling as fast as he could and managed to retreat to what he thought was safety, however the limb seemed to stand on edge and bounced in the air like a pogo stick and there it hung in midair for what seemed like a good 30 seconds. Xodd does not remember the length of the limb he did not take the time to measure it afterwards but Xodd would guess it was around 18 to 20 feet and about 4 to 5 inches in diameter. The limb didn't stand there forever and it soon started falling in Xodds direction so Xodd began back peddling some more still refusing to let go of the chainsaw, now that Xodd thinks about it it was sorta like in the cartoons where they try to outrun a falling tree but they are running in the direction the tree is falling this is what Xodd was experiencing. Xodd got far but not far enough and the end of the limb that had broken free from the tree came at Xodd and all he could do was hold out his hand in a feeble attempt to stop it. The end of the limb was splintered and engulfed Xodds hand and clubbed Xodd on the right shoulder then rolled of the side of his shoulder twisting itself along with Xodds fingers, wrist, and arm. Xodd was in much pain but hates needles so he stayed away from the doctors, his shoulder still hurts from time to time and Xodd wishes he could just tear away at the source of the pain but can't get to it because it hurts deep beneath the muscle of his shoulder and Xodd can't reach it.

As bad as I feel for you Xodd, you need to break up your posts, it's rather difficult to read.

Whoa! This is probably half as painful as the time when that secretary lady from Kill Bill I got her arm cut off.
I'm thinking this might be the tree's personal retaliation against mankind

Well that or the time that pine tree came after me with a hatchet.

Xodd apologizes Xodd will make a mental note and try to do better next time. Xodd just hates seeing gaps in a post he prefers to see a healthy fat page of words to fill his reading interest an doesn't lose track of what he's reading but Xodd will try to do better for the communities sake..... Xodd hates school but maybe he should pick up a course... No Xodd is to lazy for that.

DAMMIT, I *KNEW* I couldn't be the only one those bastards were chasing!

The birth of a legend.

I always knew Donatello kicked the most ass.


Do not apologise. That dying sensation in your soul? That is the weak part.

You are stronger now.


Just skip from when it gets painful to the end.

Like you do with my posts.

I was almost surprised that you were glad to hear I got hurt, then I remembered that he was only Donatello that time because I let him play Donatello. (Donatello was my fave, too. )

I am both smart and cautious. I dont get anything even mildly a horrible injury. My worst injury was when I screwed up in bike jousting and went flying off my bike. I wound up with pale scars on my elbows. However, There was one time when in the winter, my brother was attempting to remove a broom embedded in ice, and the not-ice end was jagged. It ended up coming free quite quickly, and impaling him in the cheek, also hitting an artery. Neverless, I came home from elementary school half an hour later, to find my front porch covered in blood and nobody home (Due to the large need of hospitality for my brother, My parents drove him there along with my sister.)

Also when I was 3, I fell down a staircase. Dont remember much after taking the first step...

Let's see here, worst pain ever? I'd have to say the time I was stabbed multiple times by someone trying rob me. Yeah it wasn't pleasant. I lost about 2/3 my blood. Luckily nothing was taken, mainly because a guy, who I'm still trying to find, knocked him out with a piece of ply wood. Nifty scars though. (Great way to pick up chicks, wink wink)

One when I was young, I lost control on a scooter and slammed head-on into a tree, with blood and the like everywhere. I have more stories... once I remember them. I need to check my scars.

I don't get hurt. I don't even get hurt when people try to make me hurt.


Have we talked? Because this indicates we have not.

my mom had a kidney stone, i was about ready to go to the bus to school when she found out.. man, i could tell it hurt >.<

anyway, this isn't an accident, but yesterday i got 6 teeth pulled... my wisdom teeth (4) and my two eye teeth. my cheeks are very puffy right now and i can't open my mouth more than a half an inch lol

Huh. Aside from a twisted tooth that isn't noticable unless I turn my head sideways and point it out, I have no trouble with teeth. Even my wisdom teeth aren't pressing up against any others. My mouth is practically perfect in spacing my chompers.

That said, I smile at your misfortune.

I was on an alpine slide which is basically a gigantic concrete slide going down a mountain.You ride down on a little sled with wheels.It has a hand brake in the middle that you pull back on to slow down.Well,anyway I decided to go down without using the brake and took a sharp turn resultng in my sliding down the concrete and ripping skin of the left side of my face,my legs and my arms.No emergency room or anything.

Verby, I used to know someone who never got hurt by anything at all. The only time I saw him feel pain was when he got a table rammed against his shin. Don't ask.

May I assume you shoved said table?

If you didn't, you know what you must do.

Ouch O.o We're they all baby teeth, or are you gunna look like a country yokel for the rest of your life?

Uh... gee... my frined Joseph sent a golfball straight into my head... then one day a tennis racket flew out of nowhere - literally nowhere - to whack me in the head... I think the earliest major pain was when I got attacked by a dog and was bleeding a hell of a lot through the head (never had a fear of dogs though)... and I would have to say the most recent is when I poured boiling oil all over my hand at Anuan's place. Its just not a memorable vacation till you permanently scar someone.

I'm going to say it probably came from somewhere.

Theoretically, it's possible that molecules popped into existence in the shape of a moving tennis racket but I'm going to suggest that it did not, in fact, do this.

My two worst self-inflicted injuries destroyed the nerves along with the skin and flesh.

1) I was taking the garbage out (actually, the recyclables, filled with such goodies as empty wine bottles and broken glass) and I stepped on the bag and it CRUNCHED. I was barefoot. Walking down the stairs, I went into the garage and put the bag in the recyclable container and turned around... and noticed bloody footprints on the ground. Curious, I followed the trail all the way to my foot, which was bleeding pretty badly from the broken glass inside the bag. Didn't get stitches, but it took a long time to heal.

2) I have a permanent scar on my hand (on the back of my hand, right below my thumb) from the frustration of that goddamn hard plastic wrap producers seem to put on every technological piece these days. This was back in the day when the N64 was huge, and I was attempting to open my new Gameshark. Seeing that there weren't any scissors to be found, I elected to use a steak knife to open the plastic instead. The predictable result: the steak knife ripped through the plastic and into my left hand.

It resembled a hot dog left too long in the microwave, kinda burst open with the layers of flesh underneath. At first, there wasn't any blood, but then it seemed right out of The Shining, with blood just pouring out. Didn't hurt at all.

I kicked the bottom of the fridge and broke off half my big toenail, twice.

Oh, you hate nature too?

I always make sure I recycle things like newspaper and plastic bottles. Stupid environment. Plus, I like the irony of increasing pollution in the name of saving resources we're in no danger of losing.

Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I don't have feeling in my arm from sleeping on it. Then I have an itch on my nose. No feeling in hand + itch results in me smacking myself in the face because I can't judge the distance between my hand and my face...

Worst injury ever. hrm... lemme see....


Well, there was ONE that probably tops all these.

Ya see, It was about 8 years ago and I decide to go skiing.

That was my first mistake.

My second came in the form of deciding to go down the sloped marked 'FAST', thinking that it would make the experience quicker and less painful.

Mistake number three.

So, I get my skis all waxed up and ready to go, and I get to the top of the hill and look down, starting to think that it wasn't such a great idea, when, of course, my ski's start to move of their own accord, slowly inching me forward. I didn't notice until, this being far to late to do anything, I was just starting to crest the hill, I felt gravity grab me and WHOOSH! Down I went.

It wasn't so bad, really. I didn't fall. I didn't even slide side to side a little. Mainly because I was going around 40 mph and was too scared to move. But I saw that the bottom of the hill had a nice big pile of hay covered in snow at the bottom.

That was when disaster struck.

I relaxed a little and leaned a bit to the right, and that took me off course by just enough to send me towards the side of the track. Where the moguls are. Moguls act like wonderful things called JUMPS when your not ready for them.

Mistake four.

So, when I woke up I was in a ambulance and I really couldn't move and I was hurting all over. I didn't learn until later that I had gone off a mogul fast enough to launch me off the course and up and over into some trees.

Trees don't move.

I did learn, however, that Human Beings weighing in excess of 250 lbs going 40+ mph going down a ski hill are quite fragile.

I found out from my brother that I went airborn, somehow turned myself sideways, and proceeded to WRAP MYSELF AROUND A TREE.

Yeah.... that hurt like fraggin' hell.


The moral of the story: Don't Ski.

A friend of mine was attacked by an ent...seriously, the tree got up, rolled over to the road, and ran into his car. (I think it was storming or really windy that day). He's lucky to be alive....

Anyway, my worst injury (or at least dumbest) has to be when I was in the Black Forest area of Germany...some of the guys I was with were playing a pickup game of soccer, and they kicked the ball down a hill, not quite to the road. I volunteered to go get it, and I was just fine until I tried to do this sort of jumping thing to try and go faster. The next thing I know, I'm falling. I end up on my butt right next to the ball, thankfully enough, and I could hear them all laughing, so I got up, trying to play it off like nothing happened.

I'm walking back up, and I thought I was fine, but I noticed a little spot of blood on the ball. I wiped it off with my thumb, and started looking for where the blood came from. It turns out that I had somehow cut open the middle joint of my middle finger on my right hand. I think a stick speared me there...anyway, it took three stitches, but the most painful thing was when the doctor was putting the numbing stuff into my finger. I'm glad he did, because it would have been much more painful if he cleaned out my injury without it being numb...but it was really really hard to keep still and not scream when he was putting it in.

I still have a scar on the inside middle joint of my right hand middle finger.

I watched Mean Girls

you were probably in shock


yep, yer sixth sense (I can never remember the name—too long and complicated) goes out the window when your limbs are numb.

stupidest thing i did and ended up hurting myself would be running into a goal post down hill at 25+ miles an hour and cracking 2 ribs.

worst pain ever would be when i was beaten unconscious with a baseball bat. still have the kidney damage

possibly second to that would be breaking my little fingers. you have no idea how much that SMARTS.

you could say that this is self inflicted, since i didnt move out of the way fast enough:
today at field hockey practice (yes i play field hockey), i was playing in front, dead center of the field. then this girl who has the HARDEST DRIVE EVER (i am not joking, she could burn a hole in the back of the goal) is coming at me with the ball (and the sad part is that shes on my team, playing offense with me) and in my mind im like crapcrapcrapcrap... must move now, but sadly, i moved too slowly, and now have a swolen arm that is turning a very lovley shade of purple as we speak.
and on the same day im being an accedent-magnet klutz. oops.

One of the most painful things i've ever done was riding on a friends mountain bike because I had trashed mine. Because im used to having clips on my pedals so when my foot slipped off the pedal I was not expecting it and it went straight into the back of my leg. I stopped and looked at it, then me being the stupid shit I am wiped away the blood and continued riding.
That was mistake number one.
Then about 2 hours of riding later it really started to hurt so I headed to the car to rest leg and clean it properly. As im riding down the road at a high speed my leg kinda gives out for a second and the pedal goes into the back of my leg again, in the same leg just a little bit to the side of the first holes.
So I had two sets of holes from my pedals in the backs of my leg. This was really hurting. So I get to the car, wipe away all the blood, through gritted teeth clean out the wounds and patch them up and plasters etc.
Then I, being the only one with a license, have to drive home.
Painful, painful experience.

The second one that I can remeber off the top of my head was this weekend. After drinking a little bit with friends they decide its a good idea to go roof jumping. Roof jumping is a extreme sport my friends came up with where you have to get from PointA to PointB without touching the ground and by going over the roof's of houses. Im scrambling along the roofs jump onto a fence (I had done this before with the same path) and I missed the edge. It was one of the fences with a wooden spikey edge thing on top so it scraps down the back of my leg down the side of my body and into the underside of my arm.
Ouch. Luckily having pretty girls watching stupid guys do this and having one of the come to your aid is a good thing =)

Oh. I thought the moral of the story was, "make sure to hurt your brother before attempting something dangerous so you have company in the ambulance."

I guess that's why I have unpopular interpretations.


Proprioception, and it doesn't. You still know where your body is in relation to the Earth.

It's like being drunk. You just need a bit more focus to notice it.


Sounds pretty DUMB to me!

Ahaha. Ha.


I took a hockey stick in the head, once.

They were beating my team a paltry seven/nil when their forward decided they didn't like me insulting their skill. There forward "overswung" his stick into my head as hard as he could.

Which I also mocked because it didn't even bruise.

heh... dumb... finger... smarts.. thats funny.

I was drunk with my friends and to make a point of my previous statement that i don't feel pain when i'm drunk, i slid a jagged knife over my palm. I didn't want to pull it strongly but it ended with a longer line on my hand.
Not emo, bideaway

I once cut myself in the eye with an inflatable plastic chair. Pain and blindness, fun combo.

Man, this thread is looking like a who's who of competence.

but now when i think of it, i have never broken a bone and i've never been in a hospital overnight so i guess i'm lucky

This was self-inflicted, but done by accident.

It must have been YEARS ago, because I remember being just a toddler. 6, maybe? No older than 7, for sure. I'd gotten a letter, which doesn't usually happen so it must have been near a special occasion (birthdays, Christmas, since most letters are cards).

Anyway, this particular letter was extremely difficult to open, I'm not sure why but I think it was made from gloss paper so it was incredibly difficult to tear, etc. So my mother said "Need help?", I've always been a stubborn control freak so I refused to let her open the letter for me. That was Mistake 01.

Reluctant to let me sit there and try, she got a letter opener and said "Try using this.", and I didn't consider this asking for help so I agreed to use it. That was Mistake 02. She gave it to me, and by the way, handing a 6 year-old something sharp and pointed is never good, to all the parents out there. So that was Mistake 03.

I had a little trouble, but managed to get the letter opener under the envelope - most people will know from there you just slide it to the side with very little force to slit the paper easily. Apparently. It got jammed about half-way through so I tugged a little harder, being an impatient toddler. That was Mistake 04. Of course, it cut STRAIGHT through the paper, easy, it happened to so quickly I didn't have time to steady my hand, and the momentum carried my arm up and round. Towards my face.

The letter opener was carried straight into my left eye. Very, very painful. Very, very, very, very painful. Very, very, very, very, very - well, you get the picture. It hurt, ALOT.

Thankfully, aside form being a little shortsighted, I've never suffered any visual difficulties.

Other than that, I've always been rather careful and sensible when it comes to potentially dangerous situations - so I've never experienced anything major.

I do know someone who was talking, tripped and fell into a tree - a branch when straight through their torso. Fortunately, it didn't majorly damage any organs...

Oh, there is another time that was very, very painful. But that was after, what the doctors said was a "simple but very painful operation", on both my legs. But that was all controlled, so it doesn't really count, does it?