"We brought insurance to make sure that doesen't happen"

awesomeness,including pose with sooba at same time

When her husband shows up and you get to start shooting him.

"Wise and PERSISTENT. He shall be missed."

"I don't understand why I couldn't stay at the buffet" (page 98)

"A mountain that eats people. I want one."

"The fork of truth!"

Nuff said.

"Behold! The Handfork of Truth!!''

"Look what I made!"

"Good evening. This is a diversion."

i think rich had his big moment with:

"Rejoice. For very bad things are about to happen!"

BUT

"Battlemage? That's not a profession. It barely qualifies as a hobby. "Battlemage" is about as impressive as "Lord of the Dance". I'm adding "Lord of the Dance" to my titles."

was just candy for any MMORPG-player (perhaps not mages though )

"Good evening. This is a diversion."
"Behold! The Handfork of Truth!!''
"this is SOOBA!"
"A mountain that eats people. I want one."

Quoted for truthiness.

"I drained the soul of a monk once ... it tasted like chocolate"
"Behold the Handfork of Truth!"
"I'm adding Lord of the Dance to my titles"
"FOR PONY!"
and "I'm no physicain but there appears to be a dagger in my chest"

There are many others as I love most Richard quotes but those 5 are my favs

Indeed.

"Good evening."
*wipes dust off his shoulders*
"This is a diversion."
*FWOOM*

my favorite is "i drained the soul of a monk once, it tasted like chocolate"

Everything Richard has said so far owns,but i will never let go of the "For Pony!" war cry,that is really awesome!
So "For Pony!"

95% of what Richard ever says is comic gold IMHO, but I doubt anything will ever surpass:

"Rejoice, for very bad things are about to happen"

Ominous, yet amusing

the phrase that got me addicted to the comic was


"Bad news Cale. I'm afraid that your position as my closest and dearest companion is being replaced by the fellow who just tackled a dragon."

and what got me REGISTERED on the forums was

"Bad news Cale. I'm afraid that your position as my closest and dearest companion is being replaced by the fellow who just tackled a dragon."

yes i know there both the same..i read it twice

i like it when he pulls the first dagger out than two frames later another embeds in his chest and he like "who keeps throwing those?" two orce r pointing at each other

For pony!

Yup, that one did it all. ^^

And indeed, everything Richard says is kinda pwnage.

I was just going to look!

With fire. And lightning. And reanimated chipmunks. And raccoons. On fire.



It's not how big your fwoosh is, it's how you use it.



roflfao these are my favorites after 'For PONY!!!!'

Cale-By the gods they look like children

Richard-I know
It's hard to kill just one!



enough said

My sig and "a mountain that eats people? i want one"..oh and also "dick rolled"

Dick Rolled is a classic. But my favorite quote is bound to be
"Bad news Cale, I'm afraid that your position as my closest and dearest companion is being replaced by the fellow that just tackled the dragon."

another good one
PINK CIRCLE
"Oh Richard pull his skeleton out, oh please."

"The mistake was making me cute"

Rofl,Richard cute,i never got over that )
on the other hand calling his imp "a squeaky chair" is just as amusing

This is my colection of favourite quotes in chronological order

"Instead of helping an aged dwarf woman across the road, you should be shooting her in the face with arrows until it stops being funny."

"Fwoom"

"No. But it does bring to mind the amusing story of the time i murdered my father.

"You're putting points into your delusion skill right now, aren't you?"

"the look on your face is a memory I will treasure forever"

"This day is fantastic"

"Soo.... you planning on finishing off the kid, or you mind if I go ahead?"

"We should see if we could find the mother and complete the set."

"Boredom, mostly."

"Walk it off, you pussy."

"if you're healed with one less limb, we'll know you were right."

"Listen, like I told your captain. That orphanage attacked Me. It was self Defense"

"Ten gold says she cries right before the end"

"That ventriloquism spell was worth every copper." *Gluk!* "Really was."

"I didn't realize the Sisterhood rescinded on their 'No psycho kills' admission policy. I should join"

"Good times?"

"I'm no physician, but there appears to be a dagger through my chest."

"Psssst, see if you can barter with this"

"Is anyone going to apologize for the dagger through my chest ghing?"

"You're really setting yourself up for disappointment right now."

"Remember the fellow who threw daggers at me? These are his teeth."

"he's really really sorry"

"Bad news cale. I'm afraid your position as my closest and dearest companion is being replaced by the fellow who just tackled a Dragon."

"Get in! we don't have any time!" *cale follishly attempts going through the hole and gets his head stuck* "Heh" *a fireball finds it's way through richard's toros* "I didn't deserve that"

"A mountain that eats people. I want one"

"I wanted to lose some baby weight. Caused from the baby I ate."

"My mind can Make arrows."

"I'm still trying to figure out what 'Conscience' means."

"Behold! I have discovered the Fork of Truth, who would dare oppose me now? Now that I am armed with my anger- and my Fork."

"Grr? I'm just acting out because I don't get to kill anyone."

"You may pass. And I apologize for my earlier rudeness."

"I know I'm usually not the emotional one here. But i feel it needs to be said. I love this mountain."

"I know, it's hard to kill just one."

"It's the way he would have wanted to go."

"I was looking for something to define what his role in our relationship would be."

"Thanks? It was fun?"

"Did i mention that I've petitioned to have the named changed to 'The Really Angry Sword'?"

"I disagree fully with your previous statement."

"This isn't where I parked my horse."

"Can you ask them to stop doing that so I can lay waste to your army?"

"I have a summer home in the mountains called th ePit of Despair, you're all welcome to drop by any time."

"I drained the soul of a monk once. It tasted like chocolate."

"Really? they say the same about me. I wonder if there's a correlation between the two."

"Madness? This is SOOBA!"

:this is a beautiful moment. I may compose then break into song to celebrate the occasion."

"'Locate and butcher your Daughter'?"

"Let's lettier it with bodies!"

"I made you a hat."

"I have the unexplained Urge to kill giant rats."

"The meaning of life is 'Bucket'."

"An odd way to show someone you missed them. But I'm willing to keep an open mind."

"For pony!"

"Mine is for ponies."

"FOR PONY!"

"Yes." (I loved that part of the comic lmao. Only on page 45 so far LOL so many amazing richard quotes, it's hard to kill pick just one.)

"Wise and Persistant. He will be missed."

"I thought it might combat the recent 'Burning rat' problem. You are most welcome."

"He fell down some stairs."

"Hurry, Cale! Climb me to safety!"

"Oh yes. The light reflecting off the Mast is magnificently engaging." (My favourite, I'm not entirely sure why but it makes me crack up everytime... possibly because I can imagine that actually happening.)

"I slipped. Honest."

"Richard for the win!"

"I am not awake. You wouldn't understand it. It's a warlock thing. Keep walking."

"I feel we should seriously consider dismembering Cale before his crazy infects all of us."

"Take a step forward and see if it eats you."

"That it's Hungry."

"I wonder what would happen if I tried to burn it with the full power of the sun..."

"Look what I made!"

"Killing means never having to say you're sorry."

"I. Like. To. Kill. Things. How is that not clear by now?"

"We can share my pillaging Shovel."

"Really? I find this constant discriminaton against my kind rather offensive. It is time... for a change. I say to you today, my friends, that even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. I have a dream that one day warlocks will rise up and cast off the shackles of oppression. I have a dream that one day we will no longer be judged upon by how different we are from you. I have a dream that one day, we will be looked at and labled simply as 'Friend'. I have a Dream that one day, when all this occurs that we take the advantage of surprise and slaughter as many of you as possible. I have a dream that one day there will be no structures left standing, No man or woman left un-decapitated and no babies left un-devoured. I have a dream, that none of you are spared from the horrors of our rule. FREE AT LAST! you're all dead, BUT WE ARE FREE AT LAST!"
(that was a really long one @_@)

"Call her 'Female of unknown pedigree', That's her preferred honorific."

"...for......For......Pony..."

"I was simply asking for directions. They did not know the directions."

"let's just take a Deep breath."

"No one puts Richard in a corner."

"Can we keep her?"

"Behold! The Handfork of Truth!"

"Attack him. The winner gets to be my pet for all eternity ... or at least until I find something with larger teeth. And a fork."

"I will assume the position of your hand is merely coincidence."

"Which elf or human body part do you think would make the best belt?"

"They did it for half the price."

"Quite the dilemma. WE kill the child and return to our time. or we torture then kill the child, and we return to our time. Decisions, Decisions. I would very much like to volunteer for this task... for the good of the world?"

"Noob."

"Remember a few moments ago when you murdered a little boy? that was rather entertaining."

"The sand dragons are having issues accepting me as the alpha male."

"Do I have tear ducts?"

"I was just going to look. With fire. And lightning. And reanimated chipmunks. And raccoons. On fire."

"Hctib! you're looking well." (I find it funny seeing as all he can see of Hctib is his chest)

"Does my little guy need a nap?"

"I don't understand why I couldn't stay at the buffet."

"Behold! The sword of 77% probability! The Sword of Maybe, Maybe not! The Sword of Mostly Falsehoods. The Stick of Lies. Take your pick."

"Rejoice. For very bad things are about to happen."

"The mistake was making me Cute"

"Down in front."

"You've been doing a lot of staring lately. It's creepy" (lol richard saying something is creepy.. not good )

"Cale? I noticed that someone submitted a note into the suggestion box. 'We should kill all the survivors and take their shoes' It's signed anonymously. We'll never know who wrote it... I wrote it."

"We need to save these people." (i felt it needed to be quoted because i doubt it'll ever happen again hehe)

"Has anyone seen my fishy?"

"it was my pose, wasn't it? was it not menacing enough? Let's do it again. say the 'Entire Kingdom' line."

"Battlemage? that's not a profession. It barely qualifies as a hobby. 'Battlemage' is about as impressing a title as Lord of the Dance. ... I'm adding Lord of The Dance to my titles."

Good evening. This is a Diversion." *snaps* "Say hello to my little friend." *holds up the bunny* "Now say hello to his larger, angrier friend."

"Give me a moment to count ears. What? were we not keeping the ears?" (Haha i sense a bit of a Tyson pun )

"I like the ambience in here"

"There's some room by my Calf."

"Who do i give my gratuity to? I want to make sure it gets to landor."

"Relax. It doesn't hurt at all. Wait. Do elves feel pain? I always forget. Do they? Hello?"

"Kill yourself and Roll a rogue. We'll wait."

"Are we leaving the Spa? Farewell landor! I'll write everyday!"

"I'm richard."

"Give me a moment to figure out how to clap."

"I'm a bearlock now."

"It's the claws that I miss the most."

"What's this now? Can I fly? Greetings. Hail? Bah weep granah weep ninni bong?"

"I mean you harm."

"HA! A natural 20! That means I win. You can Fall down now. What? Are you 4th edition?" (Haha Dungeons and Dragons, always fun)

"Look me in the eye and say that again. Too much?" (LOL i love how badly he scared the the hell out of that Bloodrage )

"Were no strangers to love, You know the rules and so do I. A full commitments what Im thinking of, You wouldnt get this from any other guy. I just wanna tell you how Im feeling, Gotta make you understand. never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, Never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry. Never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. You got Dick Roll'd." (I happen to find it better with the lyrics )

"Red rover Red rover we call Ray'd Over."

"My... only... regret... is... not... killing... all... of... you... and... your... families..."

"Ahhh, I see it clearly. This is the Plane of Suck."

"I wonder if I have the power over space and time."

"Would you mind looking behind oyu for a moment?"

"Please Ignore the fact that my hand is on fire. It is not meant to be an aggressive gesture. It's how I say hello." (I know they are all one after the other and all said by richard but i decided to seperate them seeing as it is said by three individual richards)

"You forgot Lord of The Dance."

"I plead... OOM?"

"Let that be a squeaky chair."


My personal all-time favourite is "You may pass. And i apologize for my earlier rudeness." simply because of how it is indeed amusnig, and i have a voice in my head playing it over as Richard imitating a gnome and the way it sounds cracks me up.

I think I killed all possibilities haha.

"For Pony" pawns all

I also like "nobody puts Richard in a corner"

"my only regret is not killling all of you and your families"

...... btw why are we compiling Richard quotes if you can read any random issue & it has a classic? hehe Richard is just as good as Rayne <kudos 2 those who now what i refer 2>

my favorite is : I mean you harm

after that:Oh Richard pull his skeleton out, oh please. , FOR PONY! and dick roll, o and : i know, its hard to kill just one

heres some good ones:
Stoll soldier: you're friends killed Lord Stoll
Stoll soldier 2: You will pay the price for their crime
Richard: I don't even pay the price for my own crimes
and
Richard: this was a very poor location for a hole
and lastly
Benny: and they say chivalry is dead....
Richard: Really!, they say the samething about me. I wonder if there's a correlation between the two

"Kill yourself and roll a Rogue, we'll wait." that has to be one of my faves...

Also 'you just got Dick Rolled."

Cale: How many have we killed so far?
Richard: Give me a moment to count ears! ...We weren't counting ears? < <

Richard: Look what I made! *Has turned a sand dragon into glass*

Richard: The sand dragons seem to be having problems accepting me as the alpha male.

Richard:I'm a bearlock now!

Richard: FEAR THE LORD OF DARKNESS! ...Why am I here?
Benn I'd love to tell you but the fear is overwhelming me.
Richard: I understand, take all the time you need.

Richard: There is some more room in my thigh. *While being tortured.*
*When dragged back* Who do I give the gratuity to? I want to make sure it gets to Landor.

Then the whole stick of lies routine. ^^

For some that haven't been mentioned here:

*Uses Gid as a human shield* "Try to protect my face as much as possible once the battle begins."

Cale: We have a long road ahead of us yet, I think.
Richard: Let's litter it with bodies!

"The light reflecting off the mast is magnificently engaging! Oh yes!"

also the most recent: "Oh, I get it. This is the plane of SUCK!"

and one of my personal favorites: "I wonder what would happen if I tried to burn it with the full power of the sun?"

"What are you, 4th edition or something?"

LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND SAY THAT AGAIN

Oh, dear... I need to go through the comic again! My siggy is the memorable ones I've recalled, but he seems to have said a whole lot more than I recall. ^.^ apparently I'm not as big a fan as I thought. FOO! *sighs and goes to read the whole thing, writing down every single comment he made and sort them by funniness*

And my on-topic contribution is my siggy.

"I. Like. To. Kill. Things. How have you not figured this out by now?"

(I hope I quoted that right)

Did that count as suicide? *killed his counterparts*

This day is FANTASTIC! *little boy and father*

Kill yourself and roll a rouge...We'll wait *dungeon*

three best quotes in history of time

"Good was shot a that."
"Toast."
"He he he he he he he he he he"

for me it must've been the page in wich he "dick rolls" evryone
it cound't stop laughin' lol

My favorite would have to be around the first few pages when he has Cale's ashes in a bag and he goes into the tavern.


Cale: THAT WOMAN'S IN TROUBLE! Aren't you going to do something?
Richard: Ten gold says she cries right before the end.
.....
Richard: And how can you see anything?


I also enjoy his "There's no Fwoosh" line and his "Did that count as suicide?" one as well.

And as I read through the archives I find more....

"I feel silly."
and
"Hurry, Cale! Climb me to safety!"

It's plane, it's simple, it's to the point...

"No one puts Richard in a corner."

Though there are MANY wonderful quotes and I'm sure I'll be adding them later on hehe

Perhaps the Slaughter Your World video is slightly out of scope of this topic, but there are some cracking Richard quotes in it:

"You see a wife ...
... I see a widow!"

and

"How could I glare
into these eyes,
and then not...
...stab them?"

Of course you need to hear the words put to music to appreciate the emotion and comedy timing. Done quite brilliantly in the video, it must be said.

"I'm Richard!"

"Give me a little while to figure out how to clap"

"They are in a better place now..."

my fav is when benny discovers the bug in Cales ashes and asked richard if he knows what would happen if he revived him with the bug insade his reply ,,good times ?"


also Cale : they look like children!!"
Richard : ,, i know, its hard to kill just one "

Richard: Objection!
Judge: On what grounds?
Richard: I wish to stab him.

Cale pops out of portal, stabs Richard "an odd way to show someone you missed them but i'm willing to keep an open mind"

-whats wrong?
-there's no fwoosh

I think todays line should be on here.

"Objection!"
"Yes?"
"I wish to stab him."

"Don't worry i'll keep an eye out for your bloated corpse!"