Seriously guys, im on my last leg and i cant tell how much longer i can take it. I really truely love someone with all of my being but they dont understand how i can feel this way for them. She is a really insecure woman who ni have felt strongly for for years and she knows how much i love her. It has been months since the last time i was intamate with her or had her share any of her true thoughts with me and i worry about her a lot. Even if she doesnt feel the same way i do, i still feel for her. She resently (as of a year ago) won a secret battle that she has kept from most people with cancer due to an unfortunate event with a male preditor. And from last i herd, she may be having a reacorance(sp). However she wont open back up to me like she once did and she keeps me distant and it is tearing me apart. Sorry if i sound pathectic but im really depressed and drunk and am looking for any helpful advice i can get. I feel like im dieing inside and i just want to know what to do to make sure she is alright.

I really don't have much to say other than sometimes it just doesn't work, I'm terribly sorry for you though.

Give her space. If you step back and let a chick do whatever the hell she wants she'll eventually realize where she wants to be. Either she comes back to you because she wants to, or she doesn't, but at least you don't have a Co-Dependant relationship thingie going on. Then again I don't really do relationships...but that has more to do with me being a horrible person.

Well Blind I hope you figure out what to do, I had my heart broke for a long time before I was able to go out again. But the only thing I can think of is to try to have a heart to heart with her and see if you can get anything from her. Either way it goes it will hurt like hell. After that see a friend that you trust the most and just hang out with him or her.

Seeing as I have a limited knowledge of your complicated problem, I want to just make some general comments. If they don't help, I'm really sorry. But I know what it's like to not understand why someone is keeping thier distance and I would like to help you as much as I can.
Don't blow her off or give her extra space. If she seems distant it may be because she is feeling confused about what she is really feeling about you. Life threatening illnesses generally make you think long and hard about your life, and she may just be trying to figure out where everything, including you, fits. I'm not saying you should stalk her, but continue to be a good friend and help her out in any way she needs. Don't push her, but don't leave her alone either. If she is feeling fragile or confused, you backing away will send the wrong signals and she will feel like you don't want to be around her.
Most of all, don't give up. If you really and truely love her, you need to be understanding of the issues she's going though, even if she can't clue you in on all the details. Right now, it sounds like she needs a little time for herself, so you need to respect her need for space without dissappearing on her. Make sure you are there for her and let it show that you care about her.
If all else fails, talk to her about it. Most girls would prefer if a guy just, nicely, asks them what is wrong and how they can help fix it. Tell her what you are feeling and ask her what she really wants from you. Just try not to sound like the "victim"...it pisses people off and won't help. When you love someone, you have to do more than meet them halfway. You have to show them you are willing to go all the way for them.

I'm sorry again if this doen't help. Best of luck.

My deepest condolences on your situation.

Be understanding, and be there for her as you (hopefully) always have. When life goes haywire, stability is a good thing. I'm not saying not to be flexible--just be something she can anchor on.

Good suggestions here, Philosopher, right on!
Forums are usually strange places, but the way I've read through here already shows most of you r e a l l y have your heads & hearts in the right place.
Kudos to the Primes for setting the web comic up and luring the fans to join this forum.

I3lind,
Really, to get her to talk to her, set it up as a casual thing, having asked to "catch up' as friends.
Maybe coffee or a quieter lunch time at a cafe.
select a slightly sheltered place at a restaraunt like out on the patio if it's not crowded.
When you begin the talk, it might be a good idea to sit side by side, lessoning the pressure to make eye contact untill she is ready to open up.
You should be able to tell if she's trying to make eye contact when you glance over when she speaks and after you reply.. turn more towards her when she gives you more intensity.
Remember how you are presenting yourself, watch your body language. be open, not arms crossed.

Remember, when you ask "why.." It automatically puts people on the defensive.
You want her to open up, so ask "open Questions" - ones that a simple yes or no won't work as an answer.
How, what, when, where, who.
Speak of your own confusion, how you care about her makes you want to help as well as give her space to sort things out, but if you could help, what would she tell you might make a difference?
Instead of trying to guess what she's thinking or how she's going to reply, please- an open mind is much much better than already having set expectations.

You have been intimate with her in the past so you might recognize how she wants your attention, just be alert, offer at least a small smile, (if you go all grim she's not likey to take that as a sign she should go on.)

Alright, and she might go places you Don't want. but hey, that's the thing, people, even girls, are funny.
Sometimes, you just have to sigh and let them go.
I offer these more specific suggestions to make it easier on the one who might not want to start out sharing when she's been in a difficult situation.. try hard to -listen- to her actions as well as to her words.

Believe there's a reason for this journey even if you cannot see it yet.

Always the best ~Ambyant

Thanks ambyant and all you guys, i apriciate it.

Not a problem I3lind, things like this suck and most of us are happy to help in any way possible.

I still am amazed about the whole females kno how to play the cards and know how to kinda guess them right... when Males they dont even know what cards are in what order they are meant to be or what the hell u do with them lolz...

Anyways goodluck >_<

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